


nobody's gonna love me better (than you)

by bapaldeul



Series: we shared a moment that will last till the end [10]
Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff and Angst, M/M, aka 20k of self-indulgence, best friends to lovers!au, honestly not that much angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 15:14:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16221728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bapaldeul/pseuds/bapaldeul
Summary: Anyone who sees Daniel and Jihoon sees only one thing: best friends.While Jihoon would like to keep it that way, his heart seems to have different plans.alternatively; how two people will always find their home in each other, even if the universe says otherwise





	nobody's gonna love me better (than you)

**Author's Note:**

> this has been in my wips folder for maybe... a few months now?
> 
> i knew it would be a long ass fic once i started it because best friends to lovers fic are equal to slow burn fics, so here we are, finally.
> 
> i hope you enjoy it and leave a comment at the end if you did! <3
> 
> it's recommended you listen to: stickwitu by The Pussycat Dolls :3

“No, not the flannel, dumbass,” Jihoon groans and dives his face into Daniel’s pillow as the words “game over” appear on Daniel’s PS4. (Technically, it’s his as well considering he holds all the high scores in all their games in this console.)

 

“Why?” Daniel pouts, his eyes never leaving the red checkered flannel in his hands. Jihoon should never have agreed to leave his game to come over and help Daniel with his “existential crisis” which apparently means not being able to put away his cliché flannel Jihoon’s sure half the population in his school has. 

 

“You know why,” Jihoon snorts, finally lifting his head and starting a new game. 

 

“It’s basic.”

 

Daniel gasps, offended, as he holds the flannel close to his chest like it is a piece of jewel and not crap he pulled out the back of his closet.

 

“Excuse you, she told me she liked it when I wore this to school,” Daniel defends his and his flannel’s honour. “And why should I listen to you, Mr Best Dressed 2018 for every reason except actually being the best dressed?”

 

“ _ Fuck you _ ,” Jihoon says in all seriousness, channelling all his annoyance into the game as he proceeds to rip off the head of his enemy.

 

Kang Daniel is going to be next if he doesn’t shut up soon.

 

“Victory!” the deep voice from the game announces as Jihoon tosses the controller to the side and rolls onto the bed again, burying himself deep in the blankets. He’s starting to feel a headache coming – it’s bound to happen when you play games for eight hours straight.

 

“First of all, you asked for my opinion,” Jihoon points out. “Second of all, I’m best friends with Daehwi, so I deserve some credibility for fashion advice.”

 

“Invalid opinion,” Daniel retaliates as he digs through his cupboard. “Daehwi is a sweet pea who wouldn’t hurt a fly.  _ You  _ are Satan’s Spawn who tried to trick me into eating a dead lizard.”

 

Jihoon grins as he remembers how close he was to success, until his mother rushed out of the house and slapped his hand away. Ah, how innocent Kang Daniel had been back then.

 

And now he’s taking girls out on dates.

 

“I’ll text Daehwi for you if you want,” Jihoon rolls his eyes. “Though I’m not sure if you’re ready for him to roast your fashion choices; because that boy can be brutal when he wants to.”

 

“I’ll pass,” Daniel cowardly admits. He pulls out a nice navy-blue button up, “How about this?”

 

“Decent,” Jihoon shrugs. “What time are you picking her up?”

 

“Seve-“ Daniel trails off as his eyes grow wide. “ _ Fuck me _ .”

 

It’s six forty-five. 

 

“Better run, Danny boy,” Jihoon smirks, knowing Daniel is positively fucked. He watches amusingly as Daniel struggles to tidy his hair, put on his shirt, put on some cologne he probably got guilt tripped into buying a week ago, and grab his wallet at the same time. Daniel even trips over his own feet in the process.

 

Jihoon just sighs, tossing Daniel’s phone to him from under the bed covers.

 

“Have fun,” Jihoon calls out the door.

 

“See ya!” Daniel still manages to shout back. “Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone!”

 

Jihoon sits dumbly in Daniel’s bed, and starts a new game. He’s probably going to call for delivery, or maybe Daehwi will pity him enough to bring some food over. But he doubts it. He knows Daehwi is done with his sorry ass.

 

The room is quiet without Daniel in it, and suddenly, Jihoon feels lonely.

 

Jihoon grabs his phone, and dials one on his emergency tone.

 

“Jihoon?” a breathless Daniel answers. Jihoon peers out the window and sees Daniel running down the street, probably trying to catch the earliest bus out of here. Too bad, he’s already late.

 

“Just wondering, can I organise an orgy while you’re gone?”

 

“What?” Daniel deadpans into the phone, then he giggles when he realises Jihoon is just joking. “Yeah, sure, whatever. If you can even find enough people to come.”

 

“I hate you,” Jihoon whines. “Don’t get the chick pregnant, that’s the only thing I can’t protect you from.”

 

“A baby?” Daniel huffs into the phone, he sounds like he’s just boarded the bus.

 

“No, an angry chick,” Jihoon replies. “Okay,  _ bye _ .”

 

Daniel doesn’t even get to say his goodbye when Jihoon cuts the phone line. It’s an estimated half an hour before Daniel gets to the restaurant he’s meeting his date at. But Jihoon doesn’t even doubt he’ll get the girl.

 

Because he’s Kang Daniel.

 

He’s that boy that got hot over the summer break, and that boy that all girls go crazy for. He’s the name appearing all over the high school gossip pages, and he’s the boy that Park Jihoon grew up with and caught butterflies with – then let them free because Daniel felt sad watching them caged up in a jar.

 

And he’s Park Jihoon’s best friend.

  
  
  
  
  


To tell their story from the start is a challenge, because the earliest memory Jihoon has of Daniel is having to chase away a spider caught in the 7 year old’s hair. He still remembers the frozen look of fear on Daniel’s face from back then, and how he’d begged Jihoon with his tear-filled eyes to get the spider away from him.

 

Maybe it’s their love for games that makes them the perfect combination of friends, or maybe it’s their moms that bonded first – over their poor taste in men.

 

Maybe Kang Daniel had been the one to run over to Jihoon’s house, ask to sleepover, and then told Jihoon how he had overheard his parents discussing their divorce. And maybe Jihoon had been the one to comfort his friend by telling him that only time would heal such scars – he should know better than anyone.

 

Beating each other’s high scores, wrestling fights, and passive aggressive insults thrown at each other comes along with the friendship. 

 

To keep it short and sweet, Jihoon thinks the only person he can truly be 100% himself with is Daniel.

 

His best friend.

  
  
  
  
  


“How was the date,” Jihoon asks in the flattest tone on Monday morning. His eyes are bloodshot, a result of staying up late the previous night. Daniel has the exact same bloodshot eyes, and Jihoon knows because they’d stayed up late playing games together.

 

(He is not asking because he cares, he is asking because it is a mandatory thing in their friendship. He would much rather ask Daniel about when he can come over again to play video games because his console is spoilt and it’s going to take three days to fix.)

 

“What date?” Daehwi voices out.

 

“Yeah, what date?” Jaehwan, Daniel’s friend (also by nature Jihoon’s friend) comes up from behind and slings an arm around Jihoon’s shoulder.

 

Daniel responds with a big and loud yawn that Jihoon just grimaces at. 

 

“Hot stuff Kang Daniel landed himself a date with some cute chick, from the what team again?” Jihoon looks at Daniel to fill in the blanks.

 

“Track,” Daniel punctuates with another yawn, not looking the least bit interested in discussing his love life.

 

_ “Track _ ,” Jihoon repeats. He turns to Daehwi, “He almost wore this red checkered flannel to the date. Shame him for it.”

 

“ _ Hey _ ,” Daniel attempts to cover himself when Jihoon starts poking him in the rib. “The date was fine, I guess? She wasn’t mad or anything about me being half an hour late. We had a nice dinner, a movie and then I walked her home and I think we’re dating now?”

 

Daehwi says it before Jihoon can, “What do you mean you think?”

 

“I don’t know?” Daniel throws up his hands in surrender. “We kind of kissed? And she texted me saying that we should go out for another date so I think we are girlfriend and boyfriend?”

 

Trust Kang Daniel to not know whether he’s official with his girlfriend or not. Also-

 

“ _ You kissed? _ ” Jihoon practically yells, drawing everyone’s attention from the hallway. Jihoon lowers his voice and says, “You kissed her? And then what?”

 

Daniel just blinks, “And then I went home and played more video games. With you.”

 

Right, Jihoon remembers playing with Daniel on Friday night. He smiles to himself as the memories of him winning that night’s game popped up. He hadn’t even thought to ask about Daniel’s date once.

 

“I can’t believe Daniel is getting dates faster than I am,” Jaehwan pouts.

 

“I can believe it,” Daehwi mumbles under his breath the same time Jihoon says, “You bet I believe it.”

 

“You imps are the worst,” Jaehwan glares, pinching each boy on their ears, eliciting screams from both of them. Jihoon makes sure to kick Jaehwan in the shin where he knows it hurts and will cost him during soccer training later. “Just because I let you insult me all the time does not give you a free-pass to make fun of my non-existent love life!”

 

“Hey, leave Daehwi alone,” Daniel finally looks awake when he separates Daehwi from Jaehwan, not caring to help Jihoon one bit. 

 

“Ya!” Jihoon whines, still struggling under Jaehwan’s tight grip. “What about me?”

 

“I adore Daehwi the most,” Daniel smiles, stroking the back of Daehwi’s head lightly. It is disgusting, Jihoon wishes he could buy eyes that did not see that. “You are on your own.”

 

“I hate you,” Jihoon snaps, finally pushing Jaehwan off him. 

 

“See you guys at lunch!” Daniel calls out down the hallway. Jihoon does not turn back, still feeling petty and a little mad at Kang Daniel for being such a jerk to him on a Monday morning. Daehwi waves goodbye to Daniel and Jaehwan then joins Jihoon on the way to their class. 

 

“You know,” Daehwi muses, “Daniel hyung adores  _ you _ the most.”

 

“ _ Right _ ,” Jihoon rolls his eyes, stifling a giggle because is there anything funnier than the thought of Daniel caring about Jihoon, even in the slightest bit. “Tell me a better joke, Daehwi. This one is getting old.”

 

“I am not joking,” Daehwi insists. “Everyone can see it except you.”

 

Jihoon ignores Daehwi because although he loves his best friend, he is often too smart for his own good. Just because Daehwi gets to skip two grades and go to class with Jihoon because he had apparently completed some gifted education overseas does not give him the right to convince Jihoon that Daniel cares, or even  _ /gags/ _ adores Jihoon more than anyone else.

  
  
  
  
  


Jihoon knows he shouldn’t ask. It is not his place to ask, and he isn’t even  _ slightly  _ interested to know about Daniel’s love life. They are best friends, maybe even brothers if he was held at gunpoint and asked to say that Daniel was his brother – but who says they are close enough to talk to each other about girls?

 

“So… how was it like?”

 

Daniel doesn’t respond, too busy concentrating on their game. Jihoon understands because it is Mario Kart, but it still makes him unhappy that Daniel thinks the game is more important than him.

 

“Daniel,” Jihoon prompts. “Hey, Kang Daniel.”

 

“Huh?” Daniel hums, obviously not listening.

 

And he shouldn’t be. It’s nothing important. 

 

“How was it like,” Jihoon swallows, voice softening. “…  _ Kissing someone _ ?”

 

Daniel pauses the game, and for the first time in ten years, awkward silence envelopes them. Jihoon almost immediately regrets asking the question. Shit, he thinks. He wishes he could turn back time.

 

“Um,” Daniel answers very intellectually. “It was weird? Like, I didn’t know how to go about it. I didn’t even know she wanted to kiss me under her lips were on mine. Her lips tasted a bit like cherries, but you know those artificially flavoured sweets? Something more in that direction.”

 

Jihoon just gulps, looking forward at the screen and not into Daniel’s eyes.

 

“But how did it feel? Inside?”

 

Jihoon has watched countless movies. He might even admit one day if the situation calls for it that he is a sucker for cliché, romantic movies. Kisses are the symbolism of love – and the fact that Daniel has had his first kiss is so foreign to Jihoon.

 

“Like my heart?” Daniel asks. Jihoon hums in agreement.

 

“Weird,” Daniel shrugs. Jihoon thinks he has a very limited vocabulary. “I think I was nervous, that’s why my heart was thumping so fast. But then it died down quickly, because she ran into her house. I still don’t know what to think of it, really.”

 

“Oh,” Jihoon just replies.

 

He really doesn’t know what he expected from asking Daniel that question. Were there no fireworks, no cupids in the air? Aren’t people supposed to be giddy in love when they first kiss? Daniel sounds anything but happy about the kiss. If anything, he sounds unsure.

 

“You’ll know soon,” Daniel chuckles, ruffling Jihoon’s hair and playing the game again. 

 

Jihoon tries to concentrate on the game, but somehow, he just cannot. Daniel wins over and over again even at the track Jihoon claims to be the “king” of.

 

“I hate you,” Jihoon laments when Daniel’s mother tells them to stop playing, and also when he has grown sick and tired of watching Daniel win. Daniel is a terrible winner, he never fails to rub it in Jihoon’s face.

 

(Jihoon can’t say he is any better.)

 

“No, you don’t,” Daniel just sing-songs. “Oh, I can’t make it for our movie night tomorrow.”

 

“What?” Jihoon punctuates, already annoyed. “Why?   
  


“Jinhee asked me out for dinner,” Daniel says. “I said we should have it on Wednesday because Tuesdays are our movie nights but she has practice. I have training on Thursdays and you know I always eat dinner with my mother on Fridays.”

 

Jihoon know it is such a stupid matter to get angry at, so he just smiles at Daniel.

 

“Sure. Have fun and be a gentleman, alright?”

 

“You know I am always a gentleman,” Daniel grins, then proceeds to push Jihoon onto the bed then run downstairs to take the best seat in front of the grilled meat.

 

A gentleman indeed, Jihoon huffs as he takes the seat next to Daniel. Jaehwan was right, it is a miracle this man-child has somehow managed to go on a date and secure himself a girlfriend before anyone else.

  
  
  
  
  


“Jihoon hyung you are killing the chicken a second time.”

 

Daehwi’s sweet voice is a stark contrast to the murderous thoughts Jihoon has in his mind right now. He stops stabbing his fork into the chicken and lets it clang on the table, startling his friend. 

 

“Who killed your dog?” Daehwi asks.

 

“I don’t have a dog,” Jihoon deadpans.

 

“I know,” Daehwi sighs. “It was a figure of speech-  _ oh never mind, _ you and your mouth would never know anything other than video game references or curse words. Anyway, what’s up? We’re at your favourite chicken place yet you look anything but over the moon.”

 

“I am fine,” Jihoon sighs, stabbing his chicken again. 

 

No, he is not fine. Maybe Daehwi could help him out.

 

“Daniel has cancelled our movie night for Jinhee three weeks in a row now.”

 

“Oh,” Daehwi just says, raising his eyebrows suspiciously. “So, the problem here is jealousy?”

 

“I am not jealous,” Jihoon hisses. “I am mad because Tuesday nights are our nights. He was the one who insisted that I keep all my Tuesday nights free, so we could watch reruns of Avatar together. Now, I am free. And where is he? Taking her out to Burgers & Banter; which is  _ our _ hangout spot!”

 

“Huh,” Daehwi crosses his arms. “That is so unlike Daniel hyung.”

 

“Right?” Jihoon throws up his arms in frustration. “He is just Daniel. Just Niel hyung.”

 

“You know he got hot over the last summer, right?” Daehwi points out. “Now he’s got washboard abs and shoulders as wide as the Pacific Ocean and all.”

 

Jihoon groans, wishing he could clean his ears and never hear that coming out from anyone’s mouth ever again, “And what about it, Daehwi?”

 

“I’m just saying,” Daehwi replies. “He is no longer just  _ your _ Daniel.  _ Your _ Niel hyung. He’s just doing what every normal person does – growing up.”

 

And does growing up mean leaving Jihoon behind? Because Jihoon does not recall friends having to leave each other when they grow up or “get hot”. Either way, this is not fair to him. 

 

“Maybe you need to get a date, too,” Daehwi suggests. “It could take your mind off this whole thing that’s going on between you and Niel hyung right now.”

 

Jihoon just shrugs, going back to his chicken.

 

“I’m not interested in dating,” Jihoon replies, shoving the chicken into his mouth. Even when he is mad, the chicken still tastes delicious. How outrageous.

 

“Jinyoung hyung is holding his birthday party this weekend. I think you should come along, maybe meet a few more people instead of holing yourself up in your cave as you like to,” Daehwi says. “You don’t need to kiss anyone, but I still think you should have a life outside Niel hyung.”

 

“I have a life,” Jihoon insists.

 

It just so happens that it happens to revolve around Kang Daniel. And maybe Daehwi is right, he does need to go outside and meet new people. Maybe he will take Daehwi up on that offer – that boy is often times too smart for his own pants.

 

(Get it? Smarty-pants? 

 

Daniel would laugh at it, if he weren’t too busy sucking face with someone else. Jihoon does not want to think about it at all.)

  
  
  
  
  


“So, Jihoon hyung,” Daehwi plops down at Daniel’s seat opposite Jihoon in the cafeteria, bubbling with the energy Jihoon does not have in him to reciprocate. But that’s ok, because it is understood that Daehwi is a ball of sunshine and Jihoon is a thunderstorm.

 

No wonder Daehwi has approximately ten times more friends that Jihoon does.

 

“There are going to be lots of girls at the party,” Daehwi wriggles his eyebrows. “I have insider information from Jinyoung hyung. There are quite the number who want to get to know a certain Park Jihoon better! Doesn’t that sound great?”

 

“No?” Jihoon shrugs. “I mean, it’s fine. Whatever. I don’t even know if I want to go.”

 

Daehwi frowns, shaking his head.

 

“What’s wrong?” 

 

“I don’t know,” Jihoon huffs finally. He has been feeling uneasy ever since Daehwi had mentioned the party to him. He hasn’t told Daniel about it yet; although he isn’t sure why he has to. It has just been a thing between them to tell each other everything.

 

Well, almost everything.

 

Yet it feels like Daniel has been telling him nothing these days. He catches Daniel at the corner of the cafeteria, talking very seriously with Jinhee. Jihoon just sighs, taking another sip of his chocolate milk.

 

“I’ve never been to one of these party things,” Jihoon admits. “It feels weird.”

 

“Geez, you make it sound like party is a code word for drugs and unprotected sex,” Daehwi bluntly lays it out for him and Jihoon can honestly say Daehwi has read his mind. “Relax, a party is just a place where people come together to socialize.”

 

“Don’t think I don’t know sarcasm when you use it,” Jihoon glowers at Daehwi who just smiles at him sweetly.

 

“I’m not going to force you,” Daehwi says as a closing statement. “But you are my best friend and I want you to be there and meet new people because deep down under that cold exterior I believe that you are an amazing person.”

 

Jihoon just blinks.

 

“Wow, Daehwi,” he marvels. “Thank you?”

 

“You are so lucky to have me,” Daehwi rolls his eyes, and Jihoon honestly could not agree more.

  
  
  
  
  


Nothing looks right. His hair, his clothes, his face and his entire being. Nothing really feels right to Jihoon, especially when he usually does not have to think much about dressing up. The only places he goes to other than to school is to Daniel’s house or the chicken restaurant down the road.

 

“How did Kang Daniel do it?” Jihoon grumbles, throwing his shirt to the floor.

 

“How did I do what?” a deep voice startles Jihoon, and he throws the nearest weapon his hands find to the intruder.

 

A pillow does not do much damage, but it does convey the message that Daniel should never, ever, creep up on Jihoon like that again.

 

“Fuck!” Jihoon punctuates loudly, thankful that Daniel slams the door, so his mother does not hear him. He could get into big trouble for that one. “What the hell are you doing here?”

 

“Surprise visit!” Daniel declares, jumping onto Jihoon’s bed. It is then that the other boy realises that he’s just interrupted Jihoon while he’s having an existential crisis. Jihoon just watches, mouth agape as Daniel pounces onto his nicely ironed out shirt.

 

“Get off!” Jihoon slaps Daniel away, and the other boy cowers onto the other side of the bed immediately. “Now my shirt’s all crumpled. Thanks for nothing, asshole.”

 

“Woah,” Daniel holds up his hands in surrender. “Why the bad mood? Are you going out? On a Friday night?”

 

“Well Tuesday nights are supposed to be movie night, but you have cancelled on me four weeks in a row so tell me why I should stay home and play video games with you on a Friday night.”

 

Jihoon really did not mean for it to come out as salty and as petty as it did. He watches as Daniel’s expression changes from confusion to guilt, and then to anger.

 

“I asked if you minded and you said no,” Daniel says icily.

 

Jihoon swallows, he knows he is getting them into a fight he won’t know a way out of.

 

“Of course, I would say no,” Jihoon snaps, shutting his wardrobe and snatching the clothes off his bed. “What kind of person would I be to make you watch a movie with your stupid best friend when you obviously have someone new to entertain?”

 

“Park Jihoon!” Daniel yells, but Jihoon doesn’t even flinch.

 

“I want you out when I come out of the bathroom,” Jihoon says flatly, shutting the door in Daniel’s face.

 

Of course, Daniel is still standing in the middle of the room, waiting for Jihoon to come out. Jihoon just ignores him and goes on to styling his hair. At least the bare minimum, to show others that he bothered to doll himself up a little before stepping out of the house.

 

“Where are you going?” Daniel asks, eyeing Jihoon from head to toe.

 

“None of your business,” Jihoon replies. 

 

“Are you not going to talk to me?” Daniel demands. “You’re going to let us fight because of something stupid? Hell, you’re not even telling me where you’re going out to these days.”

 

“Are you my dad?” Jihoon shouts back, finally losing it. “You’re  _ not _ , because he walked out years ago, okay? Stop acting like this – especially to me.”

 

For a moment, hurt registers in Daniel’s eyes and Jihoon vaguely hears his mother calling out to both of them, asking them if everything is going ok upstairs. Jihoon just puts down his hairdryer and grabs what he needs for the night.

 

“I have to go,” Jihoon just says. “You can stay, but I will be back late.”

 

Daniel just keeps silent, refusing to acknowledge Jihoon. It is his petty way of arguing, so Jihoon lets him be. They are both too hot-headed to be engaging in a fight right now. Jihoon needs time to calm down and sort out his feelings so he just leaves Daniel in his room.

 

“Honey, is everything alright?” his mother rushes to his side with a worried look when Jihoon bounds down the stairs. “I heard yelling.”

 

“It’s ok,” Jihoon says. “We just had a little fight. Tell him to go back soon okay? Because he will try to wait for me to come home and I will come back late.”

 

“Okay, honey,” his mother just gives him a soft smile. “Sort this out with Daniel soon, okay?”

 

“Love you, bye,” Jihoon presses a quick peck onto his mother’s cheek, trusting that she will take care of Daniel when he is not around. After all, Kang Daniel is really just a man child that needs to be cared for.

 

Ten minutes later, when Jihoon is already on the bus to the address Daehwi had sent him, he receives a text from someone.

 

**From: Niel hyung**

Don’t forget who is number 1 on your emergency dial tone.

 

Jihoon leaves him on read although he can’t help but smile a little.

 

Kang Daniel is truly a piece of work. (But in a slighter better sense than what the phrase means.)

  
  
  
  
  


To Jihoon’s surprise, Daehwi is indeed waiting for him at the front door when he reaches the destination. He had counted on the other boy to ditch him for the night. However, he waves Jihoon over enthusiastically and wraps him in a tight hug.

 

“Hi,” Jihoon gives Daehwi a forced smile.

 

“Did something happen?” Daehwi’s smile drops suddenly. “You never say ‘hi’.”

 

_ I fought with Daniel and I feel terrible. _

 

“I’m fine,” Jihoon shrugs it off. He is not about to destroy Daehwi’s night with his own personal problems with his own best friend. “A little hungry, though.”

 

“That’s my Jihoon hyung!” Daehwi cheers, leading him into the house. It is a comfortable house – Jinyoung’s, Jihoon assumes. There are a few familiar faces he sees around school, some of which come up to him and say hi. It baffles him to know that there are people he has never talked to would say hello to him.

 

“So I had a whole buffet table specially set up for you when I knew you were coming,” Daehwi winks.

 

“You didn’t even know I would come until an hour ago,” Jihoon sighs.

 

“I knew you would give in eventually,” Daehwi shrugs. “Tuck in. I’m going to go find Jinyoung and then come back to find you, alright?”

 

It almost seems like Daehwi is the host instead. But Jihoon can manage a few minutes of being alone. He thinks. He waves Daehwi away and immerses himself in checking out the selection of food which he has to admit is quite the spread.

 

While he is busy scrutinizing the food, someone beside him coughs, “Can’t decide? You’ve been staring at the food for the last ten minutes.”

 

Jihoon immediately looks up, curious to see who the intruder is.

 

“Park Woojin,” the stranger introduces himself. “Wait, sorry. You didn’t even ask. I gave it to you anyway.”

 

“It’s okay,” Jihoon smiles, relaxing when he realises that it is not some greasy guy he has seen in the movies trying to make a move on him. “I’m Jihoon. Park Jihoon.”

 

“Okay, cool,” the stranger, or Woojin smiles. “That’s cool. Now we can go back to observing the food like normal people.”

 

Jihoon giggles. He can’t help it. The boy acts like someone straight out of an American sitcom.

 

“Someone suggested to do body shots in the living room which is why I am in the kitchen, really,” Woojin grins, happy to know that Jihoon is enjoying his company. “I mean, where are the adults, right? I think I heard the bed creaking upstairs; aaand I’m going to have nightmares tonight.”

 

“Shit,” Jihoon mutters under his breath. “Daehwi told me this party was strictly PG.”

 

“Daehwi?” Woojin’s eyes grow wide in shock. “The Lee Daehwi? The one that likes to stick his nose into everyone’s business but is actually a genius at solving other people’s business? That Lee Daehwi?”

 

Jihoon blinks.

 

“That’s the one,” he says.

 

“He’s my friend,” Woojin smiles. “Not by choice. We grew up together.”

 

“ _ Snaggletooth _ ,” Jihoon says suddenly. He points at Woojin’s face. “You have a snaggletooth.”

 

“This old thing?” Woojin pretends to wink seductively. “Always gets the ladies – and the guys too, apparently.”

 

Jihoon panics. 

 

“I-I,” he sputters.

 

“Relax,” Woojin laughs. “I was just joking. Want to go outside and watch other people take body shots off each other?”

 

“Sure,” Jihoon finally says, not bothering that he was supposed to stick next to Daehwi tonight. Maybe this was what Daehwi meant by Jihoon finally stepping out of his shell and meeting new people. “Can’t wait to watch people ruin their lives, I guess.”

  
  
  
  
  


“You are bad influence,” Jihoon gulps as he is made to make his way to the table. “I should have known from the start – this was all part of your ploy.”

 

“You make this sound more dramatic than it really is,” Woojin says. “Relax. I am super good at this. You won’t have to do anything, we’re already halfway to winning when you’re on my team.”

 

Park Woojin is so full of himself and Jihoon just really wants to slap him in his face. (Softly, because he does not want to hurt him, just wants to chide him for making him play beer pong at this party where he had sworn he was not going to engage in any form of activity exceeding the age restriction of PG.)

 

They pair up against another guy and a girl. Jihoon focuses his eyes on the cups in front of him and lets loose.

 

“Yes!” Woojin pumps his fist into the air when the ball drops into the furthest beer cup with a soft ‘plop’. The crowd roars along with Jihoon.

 

The other pair does not seem to mind. In fact, they seem exhilarated when they lose. Jihoon just grimaces as the guy downs the drink, flinching when he swallows. Jihoon is just glad it wasn’t him.

 

The other pair score almost immediately after Jihoon, and Woojin volunteers to take the drink for Jihoon. He cheers for his partner, smiling from ear to ear when Woojin cringes. It has been a while, and Jihoon feels so good when he laughs.

 

“Can’t,” Woojin pants when they’re on a losing streak. “You take one, Jihoon.”

 

“I thought you were the self-proclaimed master at beer pong,” Jihoon hisses, drinking is definitely not on his to do list for tonight. Woojin has taken five out of five of the drinks that they have lost so far. And while Jihoon is more than ready to let Park Woojin serve his punishment for dragging them both into this mess, he is not ready to lose his new friend.

 

“Fine,” Jihoon sighs, downing the cup the ball had fallen into earlier.

 

It burns and Jihoon winces.

 

“Is it supposed to make me feel like a fire breathing dragon?” Jihoon yells.

 

“Nope,” Woojin shakes his head. “I think you just got the one with 100% vodka.”

 

“Ew, I hate my fucking life,” Jihoon screams, drowning out the laugher in the background.

 

“If it makes you feel better I will make sure to put in the rest of the ping-pong balls.”

 

“Go ahead and surprise me then.”

 

Woojin then proceeds to make them lose the entire game. To be fair, Woojin takes the rest of the shots and Jihoon only takes one. (Totally fair, yes.) Still, it makes Jihoon feel good when he exchanges smiles with Woojin at the end.

  
  
  
  
  


“I cannot believe you,” Jihoon thinks he is about to start crying from laughing too hard. “Did you really switch the school toilet sighs back and forth the entire day to confuse everyone?”

 

“It is one of my proudest moments,” Woojin smiles confidently although the way he walks is a little wobbly. It still makes Jihoon laugh. “Though I had to serve two weeks of detention when they caught me after multiple complaints had been made.”

 

Jihoon feels light-headed, but not drunk. He still knows where he is going, but he can’t say the same for Woojin.

 

“Are you sure you can get home safe alone?” Jihoon watches as Woojin wobbles again.

 

“I can, and I will,” Woojin challenges Jihoon. “See you next time, Park Jihoon. If fate decides we are not as catastrophic together as we have been tonight.”

 

“Bye,” Jihoon waves goodbye to his new friend and watches until Woojin wobbles out of sight to board the next bus home. It feels like he has exhaled a great deal when he settles down in the back of the bus with the air conditioner blasting in his face.

 

He only wishes he had someone to share his feelings with.

 

His handphone starts ringing when he is halfway back home.

 

“Where are you?” the voice demands. “It’s past midnight and-“

 

Jihoon just waits for Daniel to ramble on. He has no energy left to fight Daniel right now.

 

“-and I am getting worried,” Daniel finishes off with a heavy sigh. “Where are you, Jihoon?”

 

“On the bus,” Jihoon replies in a meek voice, feeling guilty immediately after misjudging Daniel’s actions for calling just to yell at him like the parent he does not need now. “Home.”

 

“Did you drink?” Daniel asks, “Never mind, I am here at the bus stop waiting for you.”

 

With that, he cuts the line and Jihoon just stuffs his handphone back into his pocket.

  
  
  
  
  


Indeed, Daniel is waiting for him at the bus stop where he usually alights. It is then that he feels cold and regrets not bringing out a jacket out because it would destroy his “look” for the night.

 

“It is,” Daniel pauses to look at his watch then sees Jihoon glaring at him; daring him to say anything then continues, “ _ late _ . Let me walk you home.”

 

“Ok,” Jihoon sniffs. “This doesn’t mean you are forgiven.”

 

“I should be saying the same thing,” Daniel grumbles under his breath.

 

Jihoon just sighs deeply, hoping it conveys his still-undissipated anger towards Daniel. The other boy must not really get why he is mad, does he? Anyway, it is chilly so Jihoon just snatches the hoodie Daniel is holding in his hands and pulls it over himself.

 

“Hey-“ Daniel protests.

 

“You owe me this at least,” Jihoon says, and Daniel does not argue any further. They just walk home, hands stuffed in their respective pockets while the wind tousle their hair. 

 

“Your mother is asleep,” Daniel whispers as Jihoon unlocks the front door. “Keep it down, ok?”

 

“Come in,” Jihoon says, not looking at Daniel when he kicks off his shoes. “Sleepover tonight.”

 

“But-“ Daniel stutters.

 

_ But I thought we were fighting. _

 

Yes, they are fighting but Jihoon is not that terrible a person to let Daniel walk home alone this late at night. Daniel might be acting like a jerk right now but they have made a pact to each other’s mothers to take care of the other. Letting Daniel walk back home alone seems more dangerous than Jihoon would like to admit.

 

“Just come in,” Jihoon insists. “But you are taking the floor.”

 

Daniel just follows Jihoon wordlessly inside.

  
  
  
  
  


“Here,” Daniel hands Jihoon a glass of water after he steps out of the bath, his hair still dripping wet. “For you to sober up.”

 

“I am not drunk,” Jihoon insists but drinks it anyway.

 

“How much?” Daniel asks. “How much did you drink at that party?”

 

“Not much,” Jihoon shrugs, struggling to dry his hair. “Little bit here and there but not enough to feel drunk or anything. I drank less than the time you sneaked some cans of beer over.”

 

That was a fun night. Daniel had revealed the three beer cans he’d hidden in his backpack one day, saying they should try drinking for the first time together. It was uneventful in the aspect that nothing much happened, but somehow Daniel’s jokes did seem a lot funnier that night.

 

“Your cheeks are still red,” Daniel grunts. 

 

“Do you want to start another fight with me or go to sleep?” Jihoon sighs, exhausted from the entire day’s events. Going to the party didn’t change anything about his situation. The whole cycle repeats – fight, don’t talk about it, fight again. And Jihoon is so tired.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Jihoon lifts his head at the two words.

 

“I’m sorry, Jihoon,” Daniel repeats. “For acting like a controlling jerk. And the shittiest best friend on this planet. I’m sorry for everything so please stop being mad at me. It sucks.”

 

Jihoon chews on his lower lip. Daniel does look sorry. He looks so sad, draped in his favourite black shirt and sweatpants. Jihoon misses him, a lot. It feels like they’ve spent too little time together the past few weeks because of you-know-what but it still doesn’t change the fact that he’s missed a certain someone a little too much.

 

“Okay,” he finally gives in. “I’m sorry too for being a brat about you and Jinhee.”

 

Daniel grins, and wraps Jihoon in a tight hug. His muscles tighten around Jihoon and for a moment, Jihoon really feels how much Daniel has grown. He used to be just that pudgy hyung from a few doors down – and now he is this:

 

Someone who makes Jihoon’s heart thump; but in all the wrong ways.

 

“I’m sorry, I just care for you. A lot.”

 

Jihoon takes in the familiar smell of home and feels his fingers tracing Daniel’s back. This is so wrong; they are supposed to be the best of friends. That’s all.

 

“Okay,” Jihoon smiles. “You don’t have to sleep on the floor.”

 

“Yes!” Daniel throws a triumphant fist in the air as a sign of victory. “I knew you loved me too much to make me sleep on the floor.”

 

Indeed, Jihoon does like him a bit too much. He does not have time to ponder over that thought because Daniel grabs his arm and pulls him hard onto the bed. Jihoon crashes against Daniel’s body, head cushioned by Daniel’s arm wrapping him in a tight hug.

 

“I am not a pillow,” Jihoon warns. “If you snore in your sleep I will kick you off the bed.”

 

And he means it.

 

“Thank you, Jihoon,” Daniel says a few minutes later. Jihoon didn’t even know he was still awake. 

 

“For what?” Jihoon asks, attempting to creep as close to Daniel without seeming too suspicious.

 

“Everything,” Daniel answers.

 

Jihoon just smiles, until his phone dings as a notification for a new message. Daniel sits up first, reaching for Jihoon’s phone.

 

“What is it?” Jihoon asks, curious when Daniel stares at the phone for too long.

 

“Nothing,” Daniel turns it off and returns it back to its original place. “Just a spam message. Go to sleep, okay?”

 

Daniel plops down beside Jihoon again and soon enough, their breaths start to soften and they both drift off to dreamland.

  
  
  
  
  


**From: unknown number**

Hi partner

This is Woojin, if you couldn’t tell – from beer pong.

That sounds so scandalous.

I hope you got home safe tonight

 

**To: unknown number**

Jihoon is safe and home

Don’t worry

  
  
  
  
  


Jihoon does not expect to see Park Woojin again. He doesn’t know why, even after establishing that they have a mutual best friend. Soon enough, the same playful monkey slides next to Daehwi at their usual spot in the cafeteria.

 

“Hi, Park,” Woojin grins, showing his snaggletooth.

 

“Park Woojin,” Jihoon acknowledges with a smile.

 

Beside him, Daniel nudges him and Jaehwan looks curiously at Jihoon for an explanation.

 

“This is Park Woojin,” Jihoon introduces the new face to the rest of the table. “We met at the party last weekend and he coerced me into playing beer pong. His middle name is scammer.”

 

“Hey!” Woojin protests. “At least I drank most of the drinks for you. Be grateful, Park.”

 

“That was where you went,” Daehwi narrows his eyes at Jihoon. He turns to Woojin, “And  _ you  _ –  _ Woojin hyung! _ How could you corrupt my pure and innocent Jihoon hyung like that?”

 

Woojin just laughs, “This boy? Innocent?  _ Sure _ , sweet pea. He might look like an angel, but I can assure that he is anything but pure on the inside.”

 

“Huh. I wonder what you two did for you to say that about Jihoonie,” Jaehwan mindlessly comments from the side. He then covers his ears, “Wait, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.”

 

Jihoon’s cheeks flush at the thought of Woojin implying that he is anything but innocent. He just glares at Woojin, knowing the other boy is just playing around. 

 

Suddenly, Daniel clears his throat.

 

“I have to go,” he says, quickly standing up and clearing his tray before any of them can protest.

 

“He doesn’t seem to like me very much,” Woojin says when Daniel is out of sight. Jihoon just chews on his food cautiously, eyeing Daehwi who is shooting dagger eyes at him.

 

“Of course,” Jaehwan points his fork at Woojin. “You are trying to befriend Kang Daniel’s best friend. You are one of the lucky ones if you are still alive by the end of this week. Stay safe, kid.”

 

“He is joking,” Jihoon shoves Jaehwan, hard. “Daniel is just… preoccupied with stuff. I’ll introduce you guys again later. Don’t worry about it.”

 

“What is he, your boyfriend?” Jaehwan snorts and Jihoon just makes sure to pinch his thigh really hard. 

 

Woojin still looks a little unsure so Jihoon just tries to set them in a different direction by talking about the new menu that their school cafeteria is supposedly coming up with.

  
  
  
  
  


“Jihoon!” Woojin calls after him in the hallways. He pants hard when he catches up with Jihoon. “Hey, I wanted to ask if you want to come see me at dance practice today after school.”

 

“Oh,” Jihoon just blinks at Jaehwan, unaware that their school even had a dance club in the first place. He’s only familiar with the soccer team because both Daniel and Jaehwan are actively involved in it. “I mean, sure. That sounds nice.”

 

“Great!” Woojin grins. “See you there!”

 

He Naruto-style sprints back to his class which makes Jihoon chuckle.

 

“The nerve of that little devil,” Jaehwan mutters under his breath.

 

Jihoon nudges Jaehwan, “What is up with you today? Can’t you be nice?” Jihoon feels like he is reprimanding a five-year-old child rather than someone who is three whole years older than he is.

 

“I would but I am faithfully on Team Daniel so anyone else can suck it.”

 

Jaehwan is such a child, really. The biggest one Jihoon knows next to Kang Daniel. The two are a perfect match for each other.

 

“I really have no idea what you are talking about,” Jihoon sighs. “Thank you for walking me to class, anyway.”

 

“No biggie,” Jaehwan smiles. “I’m pretty sure Daniel is sulking in class right now and I neither have the strength nor mental capability to deal with one of his tantrums right now.”

 

Wait – Daniel sulking? This is news for Jihoon.

 

Unfortunately, he will have to catch up with them later. His teacher has just walked into the room and the bell rings to signal the end of break period. Jaehwan gives Jihoon a fist pump before running back upstairs to his classroom.

 

Jihoon settles down in his chair, feeling his phone buzz in his pocket.

 

**From: Niel hyung**

I have soccer practice till 6pm today. 

Want to go home together?

 

Jihoon types back a quick  _ ‘sure’  _ before his teacher can catch him using his phone. He wants to ask if there is anything on Daniel’s mind right now but thinks he can save it for later. First, he is going to kill this new Chemistry topic.

 

(He falls asleep exactly ten minutes later.)

  
  
  
  
  


It turns out that they really do have a dance club in their school – and Park Woojin is very good at dancing. Jihoon watches as he does his own self practice in the mirror, grinning when their eyes meet.

 

“I suppose you have nothing better to do that’s why you’re here watching me,” Woojin says when he takes a break, and Jihoon uncaps a water bottle for him. 

 

“That,” Jihoon acknowledges. “And the fact that you invited me.”

 

“True, true,” Woojin agrees. “I didn’t expect you to agree though.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“I don’t know,” Woojin mumbles. “Seems like you don’t hang out with a lot of people outside your usual friend group. I didn’t know you would warm up this quickly to me either.”

 

“Well you are nice, and funny,” Jihoon says. “You are easy to be around. That’s why we became friends so easily, right? Plus, I’m bored because Daniel has soccer practice and we cannot play video games together so I’m waiting for his practice to end.”

 

Woojin looks up at the mention of a certain name. To be honest, Jihoon wasn’t even conscious of saying his name either.

 

“So _ ,  _ this _ Daniel hyung _ . You guys are…”

 

“Friends,” Jihoon clarifies. “ _ Best friends _ . Saw him grow into a “every girl’s dream man” from when he was still seven. It’s a long story.”

 

It is scary that anyone would ever imply that he and Daniel could be something else. To Jihoon, it should be clear cut. Anyone that sees them together will automatically know that they are best friends. Jihoon has been trying his best to keep it that way; lest things turn more complicated.

 

Although, it hurts a shitload to put himself in place every time.

 

“Oh,” Woojin says, like it comes as a surprise. “Well, okay then. I just get the vibe that he doesn’t like me a lot. Or maybe I am just being paranoid.”

 

“It is you being paranoid,” Jihoon assures Woojin. “He’s been very stressed these few days because they’re choosing soccer captains soon. It’s not your fault. Now, shoo. I want to complete my very overdue homework.”

 

“Alright,” Woojin finally relents and turns on the music again.

  
  
  
  
  


“Jaehwan told me I would find you in here.”

 

Jihoon jumps apart from Woojin (not that they were sitting that close together) while they’re reviewing the video Jihoon had taken for Woojin to send to his dance teacher. 

 

Daniel is still sweaty from soccer practice and he has a towel around his neck. He never likes showering in school, preferring to walk back home and take a nice long bath instead. He says the school bathrooms are slimy, and Jihoon believes him.

 

“Oh, I didn’t realise you had company,” Daniel looks straight at Woojin when he is saying this. “I’ll wait for you outside.”

 

He shuts the door behind him.

 

“He hates me, doesn’t he?” Woojin squeaks.

 

“No, he doesn’t,” Jihoon assures. “I have to go, okay?”

 

“You should go before he comes back in here and busts my head open or something,” Woojin visibly shivers. “But see you soon?”

 

“See you soon, Park,” Jihoon hurriedly packs his bags. “Text me if your dance teacher says you need to retake the video!”

 

Jihoon rushes out of the dance studio and bumps straight into someone’s chest.

 

“Who is he,” Daniel says, unamused by Jihoon massaging his forehead at the impact. Since when did Daniel’s chest feel so hard?

 

“That is my new friend and you should be nicer to him,” Jihoon sticks out his tongue at Daniel. He is the more mature one in this friendship, really. “Why the bad mood today? You were practically telling everyone you wanted to murder him.”

 

Daniel just scrunches his nose, “Don’t know. By the way, you are having dinner at my place tonight.”

 

“Oh, are our moms cooking together again? It’s been forever since one of those- oh my god, they are the most amazing cooks ever.”

 

“No, better. They are out on a ladies’ night, so it’s just you and me. I’m cooking for us.”

 

Jihoon is positive his raging hunger dies down right there and then.

  
  
  
  
  


Jihoon is snooping around the various delivery coupons Daniel has pinned to his fridge when his phone gets snatched out of his right hand.

 

“No!” he screams dramatically, feeling as if it is his own baby being pried out of his hands.

 

“What is so wrong with me cooking, huh?” Daniel glares at Jihoon. “I swear I am a way better cook then two years ago. I won’t cause you to have diarrhoea again.”

 

Jihoon just crosses his arms as he watches Daniel take out the pasta from his cabinet.

 

“Sit back,” Daniel pushes Jihoon down onto the chair. “And enjoy the show.”

  
  
  
  
  


It’s nice to finally spend some time with Daniel. With  _ the fight  _ finally behind them, it feels like they have gone back to normal again. Jihoon is relentlessly spewing insults at Daniel’s cooking and Daniel just takes all of them in stride.

 

Also, Jihoon finds himself staring at his best friend more than he should. The way he lights up when Jihoon says something funny, and the way his two front teeth stick out more than they should; making him look like a bunny in a big dog’s body.

 

“Hey Kang Daniel,” Jihoon swings his legs back and forth while sitting on the table (Daniel’s mother would kill him if she were to see this but she isn’t here so.) and calls out to Daniel. “Is anything bothering you? Something about me… maybe?”

 

Daniel seems to tense up for a moment but then he turns to Jihoon and smiles in a second.

 

“What could I be bothered about? You are doing well, right?”

 

“Right,” Jihoon nods. “Never mind, I just thought you had something on your mind. But if you don’t want to talk about it I’m fine.”

 

“What about you?” Daniel asks. “Do you have something to say to me?”

 

Jihoon has so many things to say to Daniel, really.

 

“Nope,” Jihoon shakes his head instead. “Are you sure the pasta isn’t overcooked? The water is boiling.”

 

Daniel’s face turns into a mix of emotions – shock, fear, and also embarrassment. Jihoon just sighs as Daniel struggles to turn off the stove and look at him shyly, saying that maybe it is a good idea to order delivery tonight. Jihoon just grumbles that Daniel should have listened to him from the start and shakes Daniel off when he attempts to soothe Jihoon’s anger by wrapping his arms around Jihoon’s waist.

 

It doesn’t solve anything, really.

 

Rather, it makes things a lot worse.

  
  
  
  
  


“You better not go home or else we will be friends no more,” Daniel threatens when Jihoon whines for the nth time that night, saying he’d much rather lie in his own comfy bed at home than stayover at Daniel’s.

 

He knows Daniel just wants him to stay because Jihoon had insisted that they watch a horror movie he’s been putting off for a few weeks because Daniel has been watching movies with someone else. Daniel is also a big scaredy cat who won’t let Jihoon go home.

 

(Jihoon won’t deny the fact that he’s still feeling petty about that, so.)

 

“We are friends no more,” Jihoon decides playfully, attempting to wriggle out of Daniel’s grip.

 

“C’mon, Jihoon!” Daniel protests. “Don’t make fun of me. You know I get scared of horror movies all the time, yet you made me watch one.” 

 

“Ok, fine,” Jihoon throws up his hands in surrender knowing that he won’t stand a chance against Daniel’s strength anyway. “Just let me take a call outside.”

 

“What’s so important that you have to take it outside,” Daniel mutters under his breath but lets Jihoon go anyway.

 

**From: Woojin**

Call me when you’re free?

Uh

I have something to ask you 

 

Jihoon doesn’t know what would be so important for his new friend to want to talk to him on the phone immediately. Still, he’s not about to leave Woojin hanging so once he’s out of the room and Daniel’s presence, he phones Woojin.

 

“Yo, my dance teacher said the practice video was perfect. Thanks, Jihoon,” Woojin says as soon as he picks up as his way of saying hello. 

 

He smiles, knowing how many takes it took them to get it perfect.

 

“That’s good,” Jihoon hums. “So, uh, what did you need to tell me?”

 

“Nothing, nothing,” Woojin muses.

 

Even though they haven’t spent much time together, Jihoon feels that he can see through Woojin like a piece of glass. The other boy is usually free-spirited and lets his mouth run wild when he can. Woojin actually hesitating to say something when it already sounded important in the text means that this must be more serious than Jihoon thought.

 

“Just tell me, Woojin,” Jihoon sighs, running his hands through his hair in frustration. He hates being kept in suspense.

 

“You know that lame school dance we have every year?” Woojin asks.

 

“Uh-huh,” Jihoon nods, not knowing where this is going at all. “The one I skip every year because I have no one to go with?”

 

Or the one he skips every year because there’s only one person he would go with and that person would never ask him and he would never have the courage to ask that person instead?

 

“That one,” Woojin confirms. “I was wondering… if maybe you’d want to go with me this year.”

 

Huh.

 

“Huh,” Jihoon speaks his mind. “I mean- huh. Why would you-“

 

“I just… think we click well, as friends,” Woojin says. “All my friends are clowning me for not having someone to bring every year so maybe… we could go there and just stand around or fuck shit up either way.”

 

This is not how Jihoon had envisioned this phone call to go.

 

“I don’t want to pressure you into agreeing or anything if you already have someone you want to go with,” Woojin is rambling already. “You just seem really cool and I think we would have a good time if we went to this stupid dance together for once.”

 

Right, because it’s  _ just  _ a stupid dance, right?

 

Jihoon shouldn’t be thinking too much about it. This is Park Woojin asking him, his cool new friend who Jihoon feels comfortable with. 

 

Maybe… it just sucks because all of Jihoon’s secret fantasies of being asked out by that  _ *someone* _ have been crushed and this is his reality. Although it is not bad, it still hurts.

 

“You let me know soon,” Woojin says when Jihoon still doesn’t say anything. “I don’t want this to be weird, okay? It’s fine if you have someone else in mind or just don’t want to go at all.”

 

Finally, Jihoon breathes.

 

“Okay,” he tells Woojin. “I’ll let you know.”

 

“Okay, Jihoon,” Woojin clears his throat. “Thanks again. And goodnight.”

 

“You too,” Jihoon answers meekly before Woojin hangs up first, leaving Jihoon to hang onto his dial tone.

 

That’s when Daniel calls for him to come back into their room or he will start on their drama without Jihoon. Jihoon dries his somehow moist eyes and shouts back that if Daniel dares to touch the computer he will leave Daniel’s house right this instant. 

 

It sucks – when you realise not everything turns out the way you want it to.

  
  
  
  
  


“I broke up with Jinhee,” Daniel tells Jihoon late that night, when they realise that staying up late to binge watch dramas cannot be healthy for their sleep cycle in any universe. So they turn off the lights and Jihoon snatches Daniel’s blanket away from him, even after stealing his hoodie.

 

“What?” Jihoon turns to face Daniel. “When?”

 

“The night we fought,” Daniel replies. “I wanted to tell you… but I couldn’t.”

 

“Oh,” is all Jihoon says in response to that.

 

What else is he supposed to say? What is he even supposed to feel? Happy? Like he has a chance? 

 

Not in any world – if something was supposed to happen it would’ve years ago. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Jihoon breathes. “Do you want to talk about it?”

 

“Not really,” Daniel just shrugs. “She broke up with me. But I didn’t feel much either, it was like there was nothing to miss about her, you know?”

 

Shit, that sucks.

 

But Daniel is not one to talk about his feelings a lot. Actually, neither of them delve deep into their feelings too much but this is one-night Jihoon wishes he could tell Daniel everything. From the way he wishes Woojin never asked him about the dance to the way he didn’t really like Jinhee in the first place because she never treated Daniel right anyway.

 

But how can he talk to Daniel about his problems when he is the biggest problem?

 

“Why? Were the feelings just not there anymore?”

 

“There were never any feelings involved,” Daniel disputes. “I just realised I had feelings for someone else instead.”

 

_ Oh _ . 

 

Major  _ oh _ .

 

Daniel does not need to know that Jihoon is playing with his fingers under the blankets. For some reason, his heart feels heavy.

 

“So, who’s the lucky person?” Jihoon prompts, attempting to keep his cheerful demeanour up. After all, he is supposed to be happy for Daniel, right?

 

“Not going to tell you,” Daniel wriggles his finger at Jihoon disapprovingly. “That would jinx it.”

 

“Hey!” Jihoon just protests.

 

A low laughter rumbles from Daniel and Jihoon just turns away from the other boy. 

 

“Well… at least tell me how they’re like,” Jihoon muses, fixing his eyes on the wall instead.

 

“It’s a  _ he _ , Jihoon.  _ He’s _ really… nice. Not a lot of people see that side of him, but I know because we’re close and he plays a lot of jokes on me. It’s nice though, because when he laughs I laugh too. His laughter is contagious and so is his stupid smile. I thought we were friends, but recently I think I’ve been thinking about him too much for my feelings to be purely platonic.”

 

Jihoon closes his eyes, wishing he never asked that question.

 

Contagious laugh, stupid smile and one of Daniel’s closest friends.

 

It sounds an awful lot like someone Jihoon knows.

 

Someone like Kim Jaehwan.

 

“If he makes you happy, I think you should just shoot your shot.”

 

Jihoon gulps after he says that. He thinks he would be happy, if someone as kind and as crazy as Jaehwan would to end up with Daniel. He’d even said it before, the two were a perfect match for each other – and with the amount of time and similar interests the two shared, it was no wonder Daniel would catch feelings.

 

“I don’t know if it would work out,” Daniel confesses. “But thanks, Jihoon.”

 

“Yeah, shut up. Go to sleep.”

 

“Sweet dreams.”

 

“If you snore I will kick you out.”

 

“Of my own room?”

 

“Of your own room.”

 

Kang Daniel deserves to be happy. He does not deserve someone who only knows how to express his affection by throwing insults at him. The more Jihoon ponders about this, the more it makes sense that the universe has thrown Jihoon in a different direction from Daniel. They are best friends and are never meant to be anything more.

  
  
  
  
  


“Yo, Jihoon!” Jaehwan slings his arm around Jihoon’s shoulder as he slides in next to Jihoon the next day. “Do you know where Daniel is?”

 

Everything seems to make sense now. Jaehwan and Daniel spending more time together after school because of “soccer practice” on days they don’t even have training and have been speaking in hushed whispers even when they’re around the others.

 

“Not sure,” Jihoon shrugs, unable to conceal his feelings. Daehwi just stares at him. “I thought you would know better than me.”

 

Oh man, fuck him and his petty side.

 

“Alright,” Jaehwan just replies, unsure. Daehwi just gestures for Jaehwan to leave and he does.

 

“What is up with you?” Daehwi says when Jaehwan is out of earshot. “First, you’re being cold to Jaehwan hyung, and second, you’re hanging out too much with someone you met a few days ago.”

 

“Woojin is just a friend.”

 

“A friend who invited you to the annual dance,” Daehwi says. 

 

“How’d you even know?” Jihoon hisses, then remembers the two are practically childhood friends who tell each other everything.

 

Just like him and Daniel. Except he has feelings for his childhood friend, so he can’t exactly tell him everything.

 

“You two are tighter than I thought,” Daehwi says, munching on his food as if it’s no big deal. “Oh well, it’s nice to see you coming out of your  _ ‘Niel hyung cave’ _ and meeting new people. Though I’m not sure Daniel hyung is happy about this.”

 

“I have a feeling he doesn’t like Woojin very much,” Jihoon admits to Daehwi.

 

“That we all know,” Daehwi rolls his eyes. “What we don’t know – is how you; Park Jihoon feel about this entire saga. Do tell.”

 

Daehwi flutters his eyelashes at Jihoon as if waiting for Jihoon to say something to resolve the entire situation.

 

Truthfully? Jihoon thinks that Park Woojin is a great friend and he has absolutely no idea why Daniel wouldn’t like him when he hasn’t even gotten to know him yet. Or maybe he is just too busy trying to get it on with Jaehwan. Jihoon just takes another big bite of his sandwich instead.

 

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” is what Jihoon says instead.

 

“Hyung, don’t accept Woojin hyung’s offer if you don’t want to.”

 

“Huh?”

 

Daehwi just sighs, “You obviously seem conflicted. Don’t feel pressured to accept Woojin hyung’s invitation just because. I think you should really think this through.”

 

Or what? It’s just a stupid dance, right?

 

“I will think it through,” Jihoon says very sincerely.

 

Daehwi seems contented with his answer.

  
  
  
  
  


Jihoon agrees to go with Woojin to the dance later that day.

 

“Really? You’ll go with me?” Woojin shakes Jihoon’s shoulders excitedly.

 

“Of course,” Jihoon manages a smile. “I haven’t been to one and I’m sure it’s going to suck but I’m just going to go so that I have the right to make fun of it after, okay?”

 

Woojin holds his hand to his forehead, “Aye, aye, Captain.”

 

Honest to God Jihoon did not think this through as seriously as he promised Daehwi he would. He made the decision because he saw Daniel and Jaehwan running together at the track earlier and when they had spotted Jihoon, Jaehwan had nudged Daniel playfully.

 

Jihoon left after that to look for Woojin.

 

“What’s going on here?” 

 

“Jaehwan hyung, hey,” Jihoon forces a smile. Daniel emerges from behind, grinning from ear to ear.

 

They’re both sweaty from running but it still doesn’t wipe the glistening smile off their faces. Hell, they look so happy and Jihoon can’t help but feel bitter. They aren’t the only ones around here with people to be with.

 

“We’re just about to go get dinner, you want to come along?”

 

Given any other circumstances except the one Jihoon is in now, he would love to go for dinner with Daniel and Jaehwan. Usually that would mean the two paying for Jihoon’s meal. Now, it just feels like he is intruding in  _ something _ he is not supposed to.

 

“Not really, Woojin and I have plans.”

 

Jihoon lies, and Woojin’s eyes grow wide in shock.

 

“Oh, where are you guys going?” Daniel asks, looking a tad bit disgruntled.

 

Jihoon nudges Woojin to say something because his ability to lie in front of Daniel is absolutely 0%.

 

“The meat restaurant down the road,” Woojin says. 

 

_ Excellent choice, _ Jihoon mentally compliments his friend. It is believable. He loves meat.

 

“Shit,” Jaehwan hollers, slapping Daniel’s shoulder when he’s laughing too hard. “Make sure you’re splitting the bill, lovebirds. Satan Jr. does not go easy on your wallet at all,” Jaehwan gestures at Jihoon.

 

“Not fair,” Jihoon protests. “That was  _ one time _ .”

 

“One time and never again,” Jaehwan shakes his head disapprovingly. “Well, unlike you two spendthrifts we are short on cash and coach wants us to cut down on the calorie intake. We’ll head down to eat some bibimbap down the road instead.”

 

Huh, that sounds really nice to Jihoon. 

 

“Let’s go, Danny boy” Jaehwan taps Daniel’s shoulder, whom of which hasn’t moved in the longest time. “See you two later!”

 

He whisks Daniel away, both whispering under their breaths. Jihoon doesn’t know if he would like to know what they are talking about or not.

 

Jihoon feels so bad. Jaehwan is so nice – he  _ always _ treats Jihoon to food whenever they go out, whether Daniel is with them or not. He’s like the older brother Jihoon never knew he needed. And he doesn’t deserve to be the butt of Jihoon’s pettiness from a one-sided crush  _ just because _ .

 

“Are we really going to eat meat?” Woojin asks, scratching his head, clearly not sure about what just went down.

 

What a clueless goon.

 

“You know what,” Jihoon decides. “I’m feeling shitty. Let’s go stuff ourselves.”

  
  
  
  
  


“You know, it’s not doing well for my man-ego when you say you are feeling shitty right after you tell me that you’ll come with me to the dance,” Woojin jokes, watching Jihoon grill the meat because he had been  _ banned _ (in the words of Jihoon) from cooking after looking at how he’d handled the meat.

 

“It’s not that,” Jihoon assures, placing a slice of beef on Woojin’s plate.

 

“Anything I should be knowing?” Woojin asks, munching on the meat immediately. “Shit, I’m bad at feelings stuff but you know… I heard you feel less shitty if you let the shit out.”

 

“We are eating,” Jihoon chides. “You are just like Daehwi. Can’t you let me be sad alone?”

 

“Sad?” Woojin probes. “Why are you sad?”

 

Woojin is not as clueless at Jihoon thought.

 

“It’s stupid,” Jihoon waves his chopsticks dismissively. “Feelings are dumb. Boys are dumb. I hate how the meat still tastes so delicious even though my entire world is falling apart.”

 

Woojin just listens. Jihoon is thankful.

 

“What would you do if Daehwi were to start dating someone?”

 

Woojin looks up, a little perplexed at Jihoon’s question. He scratches his head, “Uh… honestly I don’t know how anyone would want to date that little imp. I’m kidding- Daehwi’s so sweet and nice, but of course I’d pretend to be disgusted in front of his face because that’s our thing y’know? But I think… I’d be happy if he were happy. I’d have to threaten his significant other with my fists first you know, threaten to cut his dick off and all that.”

 

“Idiot,” Jihoon chuckles. 

 

“What?” Woojin echoes. “Don’t tell me you wouldn’t do the same for Daniel.”

 

Jihoon just pokes at his food.

 

“I-  _ I would _ . Maybe not the dick cutting part because let’s face it; I could think of better ways to torture the person that breaks his heart. And I mean like, all six hundred and sixty-six levels of hell all thought out for that special person who makes him cry,” Jihoon laughs.

 

“Jaehwan hyung was right,” Woojin shudders. “You really are Satan’s son. But I get it- best friends, right?”

 

Yeah. Woojin is right.

 

Jihoon would completely relate to him.

 

Except Park Woojin is not Park Jihoon and Park Woojin is not in love with his best friend.

  
  
  
  
  


“You literally don’t have to be such a spoilsport,” Woojin says through gritted teeth. “Let’s at least try to look like we dolled up for the occasion.”

 

“And you are such a crowd-pleaser,” Jihoon rolls his eyes. “It’s a dumbass dance. Who are you even trying to impress?”

 

Woojin has this idea that they should plan their outfits for the dance this Saturday. Jihoon thinks that it’s too much work for a dance he knows none of his friends are going for. (Actually, he doesn’t know about that because he hasn’t mentioned it to any of them.) Only Daehwi knows he is going with Woojin, and Jihoon has sworn Daehwi to secrecy.

 

“Maybe I do have someone I want to look nice for,” Woojin shoots back.

 

“Then tell me,” Jihoon challenges. When Woojin remains tight-lipped, Jihoon just rolls over on his bed and laughs. “Hah, coward.”

 

“It’s embarrassing,” Woojin sighs.

 

Woojin is keeping a secret from Jihoon. He tries his best not to pry to give his friend privacy, but it’s hard when Woojin is being so annoying and uptight about the dance.

 

There is a knock on the door and Jihoon’s mother peeks her head in. She’s back after a busy day of work.

 

“Hi mom,” Jihoon waves, at the same time Woojin says, “Hi, Mrs Park.”

 

“Hey boys,” she eyes Woojin looking through magazines suspiciously on the floor while Jihoon remains in his bed, eyes peeled to his video game. “Is there some kind of project going on here?”

 

Woojin scrambles to his feet, and Jihoon groans, already knowing the other boy is going to make things personal and involve his mother in this dumb argument.

 

“Mrs Park, do you think that Jihoon and I should at least try to wear nice suits for the dance this Saturday?”

 

Woojin must really be at his wit’s end if he is seeking input from Jihoon’s mother.

 

“Oh,” she raises her eyebrows, looking at Jihoon. “You two are going to the dance together?”

 

“As  _ friends _ ,” Woojin reiterates. “Because we both have no one to go with. We’re losers, Mrs Park.”

 

“Don’t say that, Woojin,” she chides. “And  _ you- Park Jihoon _ . Are you really not going to go to the dance with Daniel?”

 

Jihoon finally looks away from his game.

 

“Why would I go with  _ Daniel _ ?” Jihoon asks.

 

She looks like a deer caught in the headlights, “Oh- I just thought,  _ he was going to ask _ \-  _ oh _ , ignore me. You two should go together, have some fun like normal boys please. And for the record, I do think that you two would look even more dashing if you put in some effort into this.”

 

Jihoon groans – Woojin takes the win tonight.

 

“Daniel is coming over for dinner,” she offers a very important news at the last-minute.

 

“What?” Jihoon squeaks. “I thought he has soccer practice.”

 

“I invited him,” his mother says decisively. “You two haven’t seen each other in a while, and he’s been very busy with soccer. I finally managed to get him at a good time. Woojin, you can stay for dinner too there’s more than enough for all of us to share.”

 

“Oh, it won’t be necessary, Mrs Park,” Woojin quickly says. “My mother has been at my neck this past week. I should try to be home early.”

 

“Stay,” Jihoon tries to convince Woojin. Honestly, it’s been a while since he’s seen Daniel. Maybe it would make it less awkward if he had Woojin there with him.

 

Huh, how the tables have turned.

 

“I love you too honey,” Woojin rolls his eyes. “But no, I’m not going to be involved in this weird high-tension dinner between you and Kang Daniel. Although,” he pauses to wink at Jihoon’s mother. “I am very much in love with that amazing aglio olio you make, Mrs Park.”

 

She just ruffles Woojin’s hair as he packs his backpack, all ready to go home.

 

“You’re welcome to come over anytime,” she smiles.

 

His mother is too kind really. Jihoon wishes some of those genes would be passed down to him as well.

 

“So?” she asks. “Go see Woojin out.”

 

_ It’s really not necessary _ , Jihoon wants to say. Woojin knows how to use his own two feet to walk out to the door and himself home. But since Jihoon does want to at least try to be nice to his friend, he peels himself off the floor and treads slowly behind Woojin.

 

“I’ll see you here at 7pm on Saturday?” Woojin clears his throat.

 

“Sounds like a plan,” Jihoon scratches his head.

 

It feels weird talking about actual plans other than Woojin coming over to Jihoon’s to do overdue homework or to just indulge in Jihoon’s extensive comic collection. He’s really doing this; he’s really going to the dance with someone. 

 

Someone other than the one he’s been dreaming about all these years.

 

Someone who is walking up to his front door right now in his training outfit. Someone who Jihoon has been trying to avoid for days.

 

“Uh,” Woojin’s eyes shift nervously between the new guest and Jihoon. “We’ll go classy black and white, ‘kay?”

 

“Okay,” Jihoon mumbles, not really listening anymore.

 

Woojin bows his head slightly as he runs off into the distance. Daniel just narrows his eyes at Jihoon.

 

“She invited me,” Daniel offers helplessly as an excuse.

 

Jihoon puts on the fakest smile he’s ever had to wear for any occasion.

 

“You know you’re welcome here anytime. You’re family,  _ right _ ?”

  
  
  
  
  


Jihoon thought he could deal with this like a mature boy. He really thought he could. It’s really not a big deal. He’d dealt with Daniel dating Jinhee – so why is the thought of Daniel dating Jaehwan making him feel terrible in all the wrong ways? Burying his face into his hands, Jihoon lets out a soundless scream.

 

“Everything okay?”

 

He lifts his face. Of course, Daniel has to be looking at him right now.

 

“Fine,” Jihoon just sighs. 

 

“Have you…” Daniel hesitates. “You’ve been avoiding me, haven’t you?”

 

Jihoon gulps. He’s not the best actor around here and neither is he the best at lying to his best friend. For days, he’s been avoiding lunchtime with the usual gang and running out after his class ends so he won’t have to walk home with Daniel.

 

He doesn’t want Daniel to feel obliged to babysit him anymore now that he has someone else to take care of anyway.

 

“I’ve just been busy,” Jihoon replies.

 

A white lie.

 

“Hey, Jihoon.”

 

Daniel takes a seat beside him. Jihoon moves away, too afraid that Daniel is going to hear his thumping heart if he gets too close. That would be terrible. Daniel should never know of this.

 

“You can tell me anything, you know that, right? We’re- we’re not  _ best friends _ for nothing. I just don’t want you to shut me out or whatever it is you’re doing. Okay? Just talk to me, please?”

 

His puppy eyes. His god damn fucking puppy eyes.

 

Jihoon knows he’s falling even before he can stop himself from standing at the edge of the cliff.

 

“Yeah,” Jihoon chuckles, his laugh hollow. “ _ Best friends _ .”

 

“Hm?” Daniel hums, poking Jihoon in the ribs.

 

“You know I’m not ticklish,” Jihoon rolls his eyes while trying to hide his smile, because  _ damn _ does Kang Daniel know how to make him smile even though all he feels like doing is crying. He tries to run away but is held back strongly by a pair of strong arms around his waist. It doesn’t help that it feels so right to be in Daniel’s embrace.

 

“Yeah?” he can hear the smirk in Daniel’s voice. “Funny you would say that when I know you’re sensitive right…  _ here _ .”

 

Blowing gently on Jihoon’s neck is enough to have him squirming and trying to yank himself away.

 

“Asshole,” Jihoon just snaps, slapping Daniel on his thigh. “Stop that.”

 

“Promise you won’t avoid me anymore,” Daniel doesn’t give up.

 

Jihoon wishes he would, though. He wishes Daniel would give up because he sure as hell isn’t going to be the one to give up the other boy first.

 

“I promise,” Jihoon swears.

 

It was all just a stupid mistake anyway. Falling for your best friend is the most cliché and stupid mistake anyone can make.

 

“Okay,” Daniel nods. “Give me a hug.”

 

“Do I even have a choice?” Jihoon asks, deadpanned.

 

“Nope,” Daniel replies happily. He nuzzles his head gently on Jihoon’s shoulder. He smells of Jihoon’s favourite shampoo and Daniel. He smells just like Kang Daniel; just like home.

 

“Go down,” Jihoon instructs before he gets too comfortable. Before he starts thinking that he’s entitled to  _ this _ . “Tell my mother I’m going to pack my room- Woojin made a big mess. I’ll join you guys in five.”

 

Daniel just gives Jihoon a look he cannot figure out and nods, leaving Jihoon alone in his now empty bed.

 

And it’s okay. Even if Jihoon can’t have Daniel  _ like that _ , this is enough.

  
  
  
  
  


“- _ Sweetie _ , you didn’t even try. How do you know the answer if you never ask?”

 

Jihoon stops short from stepping into the kitchen, where Daniel is watching Jihoon’s mother put her finishing touches on her pasta; which smells nothing short of amazing.

 

“I think the answer is pretty obvious, right? Maybe it’s just better if I leave us at being friends, I don’t want to ruin everything,” Daniel says, voice low.

 

This is a conversation Jihoon is obviously not supposed to be involved in.

 

“I beg to differ. You two are just confused boys, but Daniel. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, I don’t think I could mistake that gaze for anything else.”

 

Jaehwan.

 

They’re talking about Jaehwan.

 

Jihoon’s heart sinks and he wants to run up to his room right now because he clearly does not need this right now. But somehow his feet are frozen to the floor and although his stomach feels funny, he does not leave.

 

“I almost asked him about the dance,” Daniel confesses, threading through his hair with fingers.

 

Jihoon loves it when he does that.

 

“Oh no,  _ honey _ . I’m sorry.”

 

Truth to be told, Jihoon knew his mother and Daniel were on very good terms. She always called Daniel the better son anyway. He just didn’t know they were on that level of Daniel pouring out his deepest secrets to her when Jihoon, his rightful best friend, has not heard a squeak out of Daniel about his new love life.

 

But that is also his fault, isn’t it? He’d been the one to push Daniel away.

 

“ _ Shit _ ,” Daniel suddenly curses, and Jihoon knows he must be feeling really sad because Daniel always refrains from cursing in front of his mother.

 

“I like him a lot, Mrs Park.”

 

Jihoon peeks in again, and Daniel has his head buried into his mother’s embrace. She’s petting him on his back lightly, like soothing a baby.

 

He still looks like the small seven-year-old boy who had cried when Jihoon didn’t want to be his friend because he was apparently  _ too friendly _ .

 

The only difference is that Jihoon is hopelessly in love with that same boy who already has eyes for someone else.

 

Jihoon wipes the tears forming at his eyes and sprints up to his room, careful not to make any noise. He takes in a deep breath, and without giving himself anymore time left to hesitate, he dials the number on his phone. 

 

“Hello?”

 

“Jaehwan hyung, it’s me, Jihoon,” Jihoon clears his throat, trying to sound as normal as possible as he can right now.

 

There’s some shuffling, a crinkle which sounds like chips, and the sound of noises on the tv in the background.

 

“ _ The _ Park Jihoon? The one who has sucked my wallet dry over the past few months? You have a phone? I couldn’t tell! – Especially since you ignore all my messages all the time,” Jaehwan says, trying to conceal his already bursting out laughter. 

 

“Sarcasm does not look good on you, hyung,” Jihoon smiles.

 

“What do you need, Satan?” Jaehwan ignores Jihoon’s smart jab.

 

Jihoon takes a seat.

 

It’s now or never. 

 

“It’s about Daniel,” Jihoon begins. 

 

There’s silence on Jaehwan’s end.

 

“I think you should go to the dance with him, that annual school dance we’re having on Saturday? I don’t normally do this, but he really wanted to ask you to go with him. But you know him- he’s dumb and doesn’t know how to do stuff like that so I thought it’d be really nice if you-“

 

“Wait, pause. Hold up,” Jaehwan commands, and Jihoon shuts his mouth. “ _ You _ want me to go to the dance with Daniel?”

 

Well, he didn’t have to spell it out like that for Jihoon.

 

“I-“ 

 

_ No, I don’t want that. But I don’t really have a choice now, do I?  _

 

“I would really like if you did that for me.”

 

“I don’t understand, Jihoon. Why don’t you go with him instead?”

 

_ Because we’re never going to work out. _

 

“He likes you, a lot,” Jihoon repeats what he’d heard Daniel say before. “Hyung, you understand what I’m saying, right? My best friend, Kang Daniel, likes you a lot. So, do me a favour and go with him to the dance this Saturday.”

 

Jaehwan inhales sharply from the other end.

 

“Jihoon ah, I think there’s something we should talk about.”

 

Jihoon does not want to talk about this, really. If he had a choice, he would never want to talk about this in front of either of them again. 

 

“You’re the best hyung ever, Jaehwan hyung,” Jihoon confesses. “I like you a lot. You’re going to be great with Daniel.”

 

“Jihoon,” Jaehwan’s voice is stern. “I’m not the-“

 

“I gotta go,” Jihoon interrupts.

 

He’s probably going to get chewed out later, but he ends the call before Jaehwan can complete his sentence. Any longer he has to spend on that phone call is a minute too long. His heart hurts, but it somehow feels lighter as well.

 

After all, this is the least he should do for Daniel, right?

  
  
  
  
  


“Did I miss something?” Jihoon looks pointedly at his mother, then at Daniel.

 

Both of whom have fallen into a strange silence.

 

“Nope,” his mother strokes his hair lovingly. “Just talking about school and stuff, right Daniel?”

 

“Yeah. School and stuff,” Daniel shakes his head, digging into the pasta.

 

They’re good liars.

 

It’s just a shame Jihoon is a better one.

  
  
  
  
  


They really have to stop doing this. Jihoon doesn’t know about himself, but why does Daniel feel so comfortable about acting like this around Jihoon?  _ This _ ; meaning sharing the same covers, their warm bodies pressed against each other as they strain to look at the movie playing on Jihoon’s laptop screen.

 

Not that Jihoon is watching the movie anyway.

 

He’s not sure why Daniel is watching it either – this is the nth time he’s been forced to go on a Harry Potter marathon with the other boy anyway.

 

They could play the best friends card, but Jihoon’s willing to bet a fuck lot of money that Woojin and Daehwi don’t do this.

 

They’re acting like  _ boyfriends _ .

 

“Watch,” Daniel insists softly. “This part is interesting.”

 

Jihoon wonders if Jaehwan will be able to put up with this. Will he be able to look past Daniel’s ever-changing moods and nature of snacking incessantly on snacks that do not belong to him?

 

Daniel’s phone lights up with a notification. 

 

Jihoon doesn’t think much of it. Not until Daniel sighs and shuts it off.

 

“You’re going with Park Woojin to the dance?”

 

“Huh?” Jihoon hums. “Oh, yeah. The dance. Yeah he- he asked me.”

 

_ Wish it was you though _ , Jihoon thinks.  _ Stupid _ .

 

“Is he nice?” Daniel interrogates, the movie long forgotten.

 

“I guess?” Jihoon voices aloud. Woojin is nice, definitely. He should have known that since they were disastrous teammates on beer pong back then.

 

“Is he handsome? You think he’s good-looking?”

 

Jihoon almost chokes on thin air.

 

“He’s not too bad,” Jihoon says, not wanting to sell his friend short. He’ll defend Woojin’s ego when the other boy isn’t here because he knows Woojin would do the same for him.

 

“Does he buy you food? Does he leave you the drumsticks? Does he know that your limit is at most two beers and after that you are an absolute drunk who needs help walking?”

 

In a softer voice, Daniel whispers, “Does he make you happy?”

 

If Jihoon didn’t know better, it would sound a lot like Daniel was trying to sound out if Woojin was a good boyfriend for Jihoon. Only he knows he has no such feelings for Woojin and Daniel is just playing his part of an overprotective best friend.

 

Right?

 

“He’s not a-“

 

“Whatever it is,” Daniel says, sounding a little annoyed. “Just make sure he treats you nicely.”

 

And maybe because it is easier to play along with this make-believe scenario Daniel has in his head that Jihoon goes along with it as well. 

 

He wishes he could reach out and grab Daniel’s hand.

 

“Okay,” Jihoon replies meekly.

 

“The show is boring today,” Daniel announces. “Want to go to sleep?”

 

Jihoon nods in agreement although he wasn’t even paying attention in the first place.

 

It’s not till later when Jihoon cannot sleep when he realises than Daniel has never stopped a Harry Potter show halfway.

 

Maybe it’s cheating, but Jihoon decides he can have Daniel to himself just one more time. For the last time, he snuggles closer to Daniel and memorises the way his chest rises and falls in rhythm to his light breathing. Daniel is warm and everything Jihoon has wanted since the beginning of time.

 

It’s time to end it, once and for all.

  
  
  
  
  


“Wow.”

 

Indeed, wow.

 

“Shit, Park Woojin,” Jihoon marvels. “You look like a whole different person.”

 

“I could say the same for you, Park Jihoon,” Woojin has this unreadable expression on his face when Jihoon opens the door to let him in.

 

“Come on, boys! Pictures!”

 

Jihoon’s mother gathers them together and holds up their old film camera. Woojin naturally puts his arm around Jihoon and they both flash peace signs to humour Jihoon’s mother.

 

“What is with you boys and gang signs?” she shakes her head but then takes out her phone. “Here, look here and smile normally this time.”

 

Once she is satisfied with pictures Jihoon is sure she will frame up sooner or later, he takes a good look at Woojin and himself. They actually look good; not too shabby and not too classy. He’s pretty glad they had planned this out.

 

“Well, I heard the refreshments start in half an hour,” Woojin says, flashing his watch at Jihoon.

 

“You know me too well,” Jihoon smiles. “We’re going, mom!”

 

“Have fun, but don’t stay out too late! I would say no alcohol but I think that’s putting too much expectations on you boys. Stay safe and call me if it gets too wild, I’ll pick you up!”

 

Jihoon rolls his eyes but gives his mother a hug anyway.

 

“Yeah, because I totally would want you pulling up to school in front of everyone else.”

 

He deserves the pinch on his ear that comes right after.

  
  
  
  
  


“We look alright,” Jihoon decidedly says when they walk into the school hall, who has transformed into every single cliché high school movie school dance venue. Admittedly, it looks amazing and Jihoon is thankful that Woojin had convinced him to dress up.

 

“Alright?” Woojin chimes. “ _ Alright? _ We look amazing.”

 

“Wow, you can’t even try to be humble for a second?” Jihoon laughs.

 

They get convinced by the photography club to take a picture together that will probably end up in some kind of year book. The photographer even jokes that they will put the caption, “Couple of The Year.”

 

Woojin just guffaws and nudges Jihoon hard, “You mean me? With this guy? _ Bitch please. _ ”

 

He earns a hard slap on the back from Jihoon before he is pulled away to the refreshment table that is already stocked with cakes and treats that Jihoon can’t wait to put his hands on. Woojin seems to think the same way; already getting himself and Jihoon a plate from the end.

 

The school hall fills up slowly but surely, with Woojin never missing a time to diss someone’s outfit or whisper something like, “How bad do you think the dance is going to be” in Jihoon’s ear half the time.

 

“Jihoon hyung!”

 

It’s no surprise that social butterfly of the school and Park Jihoon’s good friend is also here.

 

“Oh, and Woojin hyung is here too,” Daehwi narrows his eyes suspiciously at the boy standing beside Jihoon.

 

“I practically raised you,  _ brat _ ,” Woojin huffs when Daehwi’s very obvious bias shows. Jihoon can’t help it – all those times of listening to Daehwi did pay off in the end.

 

“You two look nice,” Daehwi has a knowing smile on his face when he compliments them both. “Though not as great as me and my date tonight.”

 

“What date?” they simultaneously ask at the same time taller, slimmer figure comes up to them at the same time.

 

“Oh.  _ You _ .”

 

Jihoon hates to admit it but Woojin’s best friend complex is showing.

 

“Be nice,” Daehwi chides, not-so-gently hitting Woojin’s arm and the other flinching even before Daehwi lays a finger on him. “After all, it was Jinyoung hyung’s party that brought you and Jihoon hyung together.”

 

Jihoon chokes on his fruit punch.

 

“ _ Us _ ?” Woojin practically gags. “We’re here as loser friends who want to out-dress and shit talk everyone at this dance.

 

“You’re not together?”

 

It is the first time Jihoon has heard Jinyoung speak. And it has to be a question about Jihoon’s and Woojin’s so called friend-relationship? Jihoon has to take a minute to process everything.

 

“You thought we were dating?”

 

“Are you not?” Daehwi shoots back, looking equally petrified at the new information that Jihoon is offering the pair.

 

Jihoon looks at Woojin, who gives him the “what” look.

 

“I think you have severely misunderstood our feelings of pure hate for pure love for each other,” Woojin concludes very solemnly as if he is addressing a very serious world issue.

 

It is Daehwi’s and Jinyoung’s turn to exchange suspicious glances.

 

“Okayyy,” Daehwi drags his words nervously, dragging Jinyoung away by the sleeve of his dress shirt slowly. “Though I don’t think I’m the only one misunderstanding this whole situation.”

 

They then leave Jihoon and Woojin together in a very awkward silence. The first since the start of their friendship.

 

Woojin clears his throat, “Do you li-“

 

“Nope,” Jihoon cuts him off early. “Do you?”

 

“No,” Woojin shakes his head quickly. “ _ Gay _ , but definitely not  _ you-gay _ .”

 

Well, Jihoon is glad that they clarified one other thing tonight.

  
  
  
  
  


“Woojin?”

 

They’re entering the main dance floor when a voice rises among the rest. Jihoon doesn’t recognise it, but it seems like Woojin does. He does not miss the way Woojin turns around in a split millisecond to look for the source of the name-caller.

 

“Over here,” the voice is closer, popping up beside Jihoon.

 

“Oh,” Woojin clears his throat. “Hi.”

 

Jihoon understands that Park Woojin is super awkward with strangers but this is a whole new level. He’s practically shaking in his nice black dress shoes. Jihoon looks back at the new face who blinks way too many times. 

 

“Can we have a second?” new face asks.

 

Woojin looks at Jihoon and Jihoon knows  _ that look _ on his face – the look that tells Jihoon to not leave him alone at all costs. But Woojin’s body language is telling Jihoon a whole different story. He can’t stop casting glances at the new face and can’t seem to get a single word out in front of him.

 

Jihoon thinks he finally understands Woojin’s “gay, but not Jihoon-gay” agenda.

 

God, Park Woojin is as much of an idiot as Park Jihoon is.

 

“Well, I’ll leave you two alone then,” Jihoon smiles at Woojin, knowing he’s going to pay for this later on but his argument is: he’s doing Woojin a goddamn favour and that boy should be eternally grateful to him for this.

 

He manoeuvres his way out of the crowd and strays by the side-lines, watching people start to dance with each other and chat happily. Jihoon wishes he could do that with somebody too.

 

Only somebody does not mean anybody but somebody, singular.

 

“Hello, stranger.”

 

Jihoon wonders if it is a curse or a blessing to be a best-friend magnet on his worst day.

  
  
  
  
  


Daniel is, the least to say, gorgeous.

 

From head to toe, this man he has grown up with is beautiful in every single way and Jihoon hates him so much for it. Even if it weren’t for the puppy eye smile, Jihoon is certain he would have fallen for Kang Daniel one way or another. There is just no way around this hard to digest fact.

 

He’s just hopelessly in love with the one person on earth he cannot be with.

 

“Ew, who dressed you?” Jihoon wrinkles his nose in fake disgust.

 

At the very least, he can lie.

 

“Brat,” Daniel pinches the bridge of his nose playfully in return. “I was just going to tell you that you look amazing. Guess I’ll be taking that back.”

 

Jihoon folds his arms unhappily.

 

“Where is Jaehwan hyung?”

 

Kim Jaehwan had better agree to go with Daniel to this dance if not he will physically end the other boy. Especially after all that Jihoon has been through to bring them together.

 

Daniel just waves in some general direction, “I don’t know, somewhere. I’ll look for him later. What about you, where’s Woojin?”

 

Jihoon cocks his head to the direction of the dance floor.

 

Oh, and look. By some kind of miracle Park Woojin is dancing with that boy from before. Jihoon just sighs when Woojin messes up his steps and accidentally steps on his partner’s feet. He wonders how a dancer like Park Woojin could ever fail at slow dancing but decides he has his answer when a faint pink blush dusts Woojin’s cheeks when the boy leans over to whisper something into his ear.

 

It is disgusting.

 

But also, kind of cute.

 

Jihoon should receive the award of Matchmaker of the Year.

 

“Why is he not dancing with you?” Daniel asks grumpily.

 

“He doesn’t just have to dance with me,” Jihoon shrugs. “Besides, he looks happy, doesn’t he?”

 

“Yeah well, he wanted to take you to the dance, so he should at least act like a man and take up some basic responsibility to keep you company.”

 

Jihoon looks up at his friend.

 

“Woah, where is all this coming from? Not that this has anything to do with a man but I’m pretty happy standing here and watching my good friend get together with his very obvious crush. Besides, you’re not dancing with Jaehwan so how are you different from Woojin?”

 

Daniel looks at Jihoon, confused.

 

“ _ Crush _ ?”

 

Jihoon blinks twice.

 

“Yeah. I think he likes that guy?”

 

“That guy?” Daniel practically yells and Jihoon has to shush him so that he won’t publicly embarrass himself. “But-“

 

They’re interrupted by even louder, inappropriate hollering.

 

“Good day, my lovely friends.”

 

“Hyung you look… nice.”

 

Jihoon can’t believe that these words are coming out of his mouth, but he can’t help but compliment his friend. Kim Jaehwan does indeed, look different and well, nice. Jihoon is impressed and slightly bitter at the same time because Daniel is probably in cloud nine right now, seeing how handsome Jaehwan is tonight.

 

“A compliment from Satan himself,” Jaehwan wipes a fake tear from his eye. “I think it’s my lucky day.”

 

Every day is a lucky day when you are loved by Kang Daniel.

 

“You two have fun, okay?”

 

Jihoon surprises himself even more with that line. It almost sounds natural. And he thinks he will eventually get to the day where he can be natural when Daniel dates other people. For now, it is a slight improvement.

 

Though the pain in his heart does not lessen when the two look at each other, as if saying something telepathically that Jihoon will never know about.

 

“Hey, Hoonie,” Daniel grabs Jihoon’s wrist when he turns away. “I want to tell you something.”

 

God,  _ not now _ .

 

Jihoon is going to support Daniel and Jaehwan with his entire heart, he swears.

 

But he’s not ready to hear it from Daniel’s own lips.

 

Not when Daniel looks like this. Not when Jihoon is still feeling so much for him.

 

“Maybe later?” Jihoon forces a smile. “I promised Woojin I would dance with him.”

 

Daniel purses his lips together, hard.

 

“Fine, but save me one dance too.”

 

That doesn’t do anything, except make it much, much worse for Jihoon but rejecting Daniel would definitely raise suspicions on his side and the last thing Daniel needs now is to know that his best friend has been harbouring hidden feelings for him for the past few years.

 

“Okay.”

 

He doesn’t even look back. He doesn’t want to see Daniel dancing with Jaehwan and spend his time wishing it were him instead.

  
  
  
  
  


“You look sick.”

 

“You look  _ happy _ ,” Jihoon snaps back, immediately regretting it.

 

“Sorry,” he apologises quickly. “Just… things.”

 

Woojin sighs, looking around before asking, “Are you okay?”

 

No, not really.

 

He spots Daniel somewhere behind a few other pairs dancing and looks back at Woojin quickly.

 

“You know what, we should just dance. Come on.”

 

Woojin takes Jihoon’s hand in his, a weird, unfamiliar feeling but it’s okay. They dance slowly, neither of them saying anything for a while.

 

“So,” Jihoon huffs. “Who was that?”

 

“Guy in my biology class,” Woojin mumbles.

 

“You were shit at slow dancing,” Jihoon confesses.

 

Woojin just hisses at him, “I was nervous, couldn’t you tell?”

 

“Oh yeah, sure. I totally did not know that,” Jihoon rolls his eyes. “But I trust everything went well?”

 

Woojin nods after a few seconds.

 

“I asked him out for dinner next week,” Woojin says, unable to control the snaggletooth that pops out naturally.

 

Jihoon slaps Woojin’s back hard, “ _ Attaboy _ ! You owe me a fuckload.”

 

“ _ Ow _ \- could we maybe go back to normal things, like dancing, please?”

 

They fall back into a familiar rhythm and Jihoon can’t stop himself from smiling at Park Woojin’s stupid love story. At the very least, his friend does have a happy ending. Suddenly, a rush of feelings pricks at Jihoon’s heart and his eyes well up with tears.

 

“Oh fuck,” Woojin curses very eloquently. “Jihoon, what’s wrong?”

 

He dries his tears quickly with his shirt sleeve.

 

“Nothing,” Jihoon lies, but even his lies betray him when he blinks away even more tears.

 

“Tell me,” Woojin demands.

 

“Not here,” Jihoon whispers.

 

He thanks his guardian angels and more importantly, Park Woojin who pulls him out of there immediately and bribes a freshman to stand watch outside a toilet to make sure that no one comes in.

  
  
  
  
  


“It’s very strange to see you cry. Please stop crying.”

 

Woojin is not the best at comforting people, really.

 

“I’m an idiot,” Jihoon hears himself say.

 

“No, you’re not,” Woojin mumbles. Jihoon just stares back at him until he sighs heavily, “Okay,  _ maybe _ you are. But you won’t even tell me why you’re crying. You didn’t even cry when I set up that lego trap in your bedroom so what is going on?”

 

Where does Jihoon even start?

 

“I think…” Jihoon can’t bring himself to say it. He’s never said it to anyone other than to himself in the middle of the night. Saying it out loud would make it all too real and scary to accept. He’s sure Woojin would laugh at him anyway.

 

“Is it about Daniel hyung?”

 

Jihoon’s heart sinks at  _ his _ name.

 

He lifts his face from his hands.

 

“Yes?” Woojin prompts.

 

“How’d you even-  _ my God _ . I’ve been too obvious, haven’t I? I don’t even know what I should say. You’re probably disgusted with me; how could I have fallen for my best friend? Woojin, what should I do?”

 

Woojin opens his mouth to respond but Jihoon finds that opening his heart up is like opening a Pandora’s Box. 

 

“I even called Jaehwan hyung and asked him to go to the dance with Daniel. Do you have any idea how much that hurt? I’m fucking stupid, that’s what I am,” Jihoon doesn’t even mind the tears rolling down his cheeks now.

 

“I’m so fucking in love with him and I don’t know what I should do about it.”

 

Woojin just pats his back gently, allowing Jihoon to let everything out.

 

Jihoon remembers the first time it struck him. Like lighting, one night when they were sleeping under the covers. Daniel, as usual, knocked out as soon as his head touched the pillow, while Jihoon tosses and turns before he can fall asleep.

 

Jihoon was thirteen, Daniel sixteen.

 

When he’d realised his heart had belonged to one person only.

 

Everything after that was so much better, and so much worse. It was great when Daniel had hugged Jihoon naturally, and worse when Jihoon realised he did it because Jihoon was  _ just _ a best friend.

 

Truly, Jihoon tried.

 

Looking at other people, talking to other people. Trying to convince himself it was a phase that he was in love with his best friend and that it would pass, and he would eventually fall for someone else.

 

No one ever made Jihoon feel the way Daniel did.

 

That’s when he decided he was, for lack of better words,  _ fucked _ .

 

“Hey- what’s going on here?”

 

Jihoon knows that voice, maybe a little too well. He knows he looks like a mess when he lifts his face; nose runny and possibly Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer red, and whatever minimal makeup he’d put on from before ruined. 

 

“Jihoon, you’re crying?”

 

He wipes his tears fast- but Daniel is faster.

 

Kang Daniel, in the smartest and prettiest suit, has Woojin’s collar in his big hands in a split second.

 

“What the fuck did you do to him?”

 

Woojin sputters for the right words to save his life, brain working faster than Jihoon’s for a moment.

 

“Jesus, you had  _ one  _ job!” Daniel yells, and both Woojin and Jihoon flinch. “All you had to do was treat him well for one  _ god damn _ night and you managed to screw that up? Even after I gave him up even if it killed me to see him looking at someone else when I was there for him the whole time?”

 

It is so quiet, Jihoon is positive everyone can hear his raging heartbeat. It is only after a few seconds when he hears the soft bass in the background that he is reminded he is in the school’s toilet.

 

“Put me down,” Woojin insists. “I did not make him cry.”

 

“Then who did? Because  _ I swear _ \- I will smash his face in.”

 

Daniel is seething with anger, Jihoon doesn’t recall seeing Daniel this angry.

 

And over what?

 

“You,” Jihoon finally speaks up, more out of frustration than to save his friend’s life.

 

“For so-called  _ best friends _ , you two have a lot more talking to do,” Woojin snaps when Daniel finally releases his strong grip on his shirt collar. Jihoon is going to have to apologise to him for that ten times over later.

 

Woojin straightens his collar, turns to Jihoon and says, “I’ll be waiting outside.”

 

Jihoon feels like his head is about to explode when he sits back down onto the bench, Daniel still staring at him from a distance away. 

 

Suddenly, he feels so far away from Jihoon.

 

“Jihoonie?” Daniel attempts. “I- I didn’t mean to do that. I saw you crying and I just thought-“

 

_ All you had to do was treat him well for one god damn night and you managed to screw that up?  _

 

_ Even after I gave him up even if it killed me to see him looking at someone else when I was there for him the whole time? _

 

“Hyung,” Jihoon gulps, feeling the tears rise again.

 

Daniel rushes to his side, rubbing his thumbs over Jihoon’s cheeks.

 

His touch is so, so, comforting.

 

Jihoon finds himself smiling even when Daniel chokes on his words.

 

“Why are you crying too-“

 

“I tried, Jihoon, I really did. I tried everything I could to not be a bother to you with my feelings but it’s really hard. I can’t do it, okay? I can’t.”

 

“What are you talking about - _ Jaehwan hyung _ ?”

 

Daniel shakes his head.

 

“ _ You _ , Jihoon ah. I’m talking about you. I’m not in love with Jaehwan. I never was.”

 

Jihoon’s heart skips beats, his ears start to ring. Even then, the words from Daniel’s mouth spill out.

 

“It’s always been you.”

 

It doesn’t make sense; why Daniel would chose Jihoon, out of all the people he could have in this world. He was Kang Daniel, the person who girls and boys fawned over. And Jihoon was  _ just  _ Jihoon, Daniel’s loyal best friend.

 

“I love you.  _ I love you so much _ , Jihoon ah.”

 

All this time, Jihoon has only dreamt of the day that Daniel would feel something more than platonic for him. And each time, he destroys his own dreams by telling himself  _ no, Daniel will never love you back. _

 

The worst thing is that none of this feels like a dream. It’s real.

 

“Hyung, me too,” his voice sounds like utter shit now. But he doesn’t care. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that Daniel is here, sitting in front of him in the school’s toilet and telling Jihoon that he chooses him over everyone else.

 

“I love you too.”

 

The words are foreign on his lips. The only receiver of those words his entire life is his mother. Yet, it feels so right to say them to Daniel. He is worthy.

 

Before Jihoon can think of what to say next, a familiar, strong pair of arms wrap around his waist.

 

“I’m sorry I took so long to say it.”

 

Jihoon understands. He wishes he knew earlier too.

 

“I’m sorry I hurt you. All I wanted was to make sure you were happy,” Jihoon sighs.

 

Daniel pulls away, looking Jihoon straight in his eyes.

 

“I am happy, Jihoon.  _ With you. _ ”

 

Hugging Daniel is like coming home after a long, crappy day at school. Even on the days where you forget to bring your homework even though you actually did it this time, even when the school food sucks that day, even when you’re in a bad mood the entire day - Daniel is a constant.

 

He’s always been there for Jihoon.

 

Jihoon doesn’t know how he could ever be happier with anyone else.

 

“How stupid are we, hyung?” Jihoon finally laughs.

 

When Daniel smiles back, Jihoon realises that this is real. It is happening. The love of his life loves him back.

 

“Even stupider if we don’t dance in our very nice suits.”

 

“But I look like crap,” Jihoon whines. “Hell,  _ you  _ look like crap too. I told you that you look ugly when you cry.”

 

Daniel smoothes out his suit, and offers his hand to Jihoon.

 

He shrugs.

 

“I don’t particularly have to impress anyone tonight-

 

-do you?”

  
  
  
  
  


It feels weird.

 

But good, weird.

 

“Is this okay?”

 

Jihoon nods.

 

He catches Woojin’s glint from a distance away, and looks away sheepishly. He tries not to focus on anyone else but on Daniel’s hand on his waist.

 

“Why are you being so nice suddenly, huh?” Jihoon teases, pinching Daniel’s side gently.

 

Daniel retaliates immediately.

 

“I feel like I have to be,” Daniel whispers, only for Jihoon’s ears to hear. “After all, I have just been upgraded from best friend to  _ boyfriend _ .”

 

Jihoon gasps, horrified at the sudden confession.

 

“You know I don’t like cheesy things, hyung!”

 

“I know you’re a terrible liar,” Daniel beams at Jihoon, knowing he has everything about Jihoon memorized on the back of his palm. They continue to slow dance in silence, allowing the music to do the talking for them as Jihoon’s mind swims with countless thoughts.

 

_ What now? _

 

_ Where do they go from here? _

 

_ Are things going to be different? _

 

“Jihoonie,” Daniel sighs, brushing his bangs away to peer nearer into Jihoon’s face. “My eyes are up here.”

 

“Sorry. I’m just… thinking.”

 

“Are you scared?” Daniel finally asks.

 

Even though he does not elaborate, Jihoon knows what he is asking. Is Jihoon afraid of being with Daniel, his best friend? Truth is, yes. Jihoon nods. Being with someone is different from being with the person who has been by your side for your entire life - someone who has done everything with you, yet has never tread into this grey area.

 

Daniel’s thumbs brush against Jihoon’s cheeks.

 

“Just trust me, please.”

 

Daniel is desperate, and so is Jihoon.

 

“I will, hyung. I promise.”

 

Their fingers intertwine naturally below their waist area, pink dusting their faces when they finally realise that their hearts are beating synonymous to each other.

  
  
  
  
  


“I think I deserve a ‘thank you, Park Woojin. You are the best friend in the entire world’.”

 

Jihoon crosses his arms, smiling to himself when the familiar disgruntled voice greets him outside the school. He’s holding Daniel’s blazer in his arms while the other boy had excused himself to go to the washroom, leaving Jihoon waiting outside.

 

“I think we both came to the dance with the wrong people,” Jihoon says in return.

 

Woojin snorts.

 

“After all, it is all thanks to me that you got that boy’s number and a date,” Jihoon lays out the cold hard facts for a very ungrateful Woojin. He remembers that Woojin is the one who had handed him tissues in the school toilet and risked getting hit by his  _ best friend turned boyfriend  _ so he relents. 

 

“But thank you, Park Woojin.”

 

Woojin shifts uncomfortably at the sudden thanks.

 

“You should have just told me you were in love with Daniel hyung. I would have never tried to ask you out to the dance then.”

 

“And then what?” Jihoon replies. “I stay at home moping about someone I will never have? I owe you one, for real.”

 

“I think you can repay me by being a better partner at beer pong.”

 

God. That does bring back so many memories for Jihoon. The half cursed party where he’d been heartbroken over Kang Daniel yet had met a chaotic mess that was Park Woojin. He’s happy it worked out for all of them in the end.

 

Jihoon raises his fist and Woojin meets his halfway.

 

“I will definitely hard carry our team at the next frat party Daehwi organises.”

 

“What frat party?”

 

They both turn to the direction of the new voice, Jihoon pleased when Daniel emerges out of the dark; his sleeves rolled up halfway and moonlight shining on his face. Almost naturally, Daniel’s arm snakes around Jihoon’s waist - as if claiming what has been his this entire time.

 

“Oops, I think we haven’t had a proper introduction before I held you by your collar. I misunderstood, I’m sorry. I’m Kang Daniel,” Daniel holds his hand out to Woojin, who still looks spooked by Daniel’s sudden hospitality. 

 

He takes Daniel’s hand hesitantly, muttering, “I’m Park Woojin.” under his breath. Jihoon just giggles. The two have a lot more talking to do and he’s going to make sure of that.

 

“I think someone’s waiting for you,” Jihoon gestures to a boy waiting outside the main entrance.

 

Woojin nods, says his goodbyes and rushes off.

 

Duty calls.

 

“I think your mother will be very pleased to see me coming home with you tonight,” Daniel decidedly says, slipping his hand into Jihoon’s.

 

Jihoon scrunches his nose, “Who says you’re coming over?”

 

“I’m even going to  _ sleep in your bed _ .”

 

For some reason, Jihoon’s cheeks redden and it feels like the collar around his neck is suddenly too tight for him. He clears his throat and looks away from Daniel. He’s been so used to imagining situations in his head he has no idea what to do when Daniel responds.

 

“My mother would never let you.”

  
  
  
  
  


“Daniel?”

 

“Jihoon?”

 

His mother looks like she’s just seen a ghost. Jihoon wouldn’t have guessed that she would still be awake at this late hour. He’d even brought the house keys out because he knew he would be back late - and doesn’t expect her to catch him holding hands with Daniel outside his front door.

 

She doesn’t miss the way Jihoon snatches his hand away from Daniel.

 

“Jihoon?” she looks quizzically at him again, demanding an explanation.

 

This is so embarrassing.

 

“Ah, I don’t know,” Jihoon mumbles and rushes past her, leaving Daniel to take care of it.

 

He doesn’t even try to hide his smile when he locks the door behind him and hears Daniel cheering with his mother in the living room, with Daniel repeating the words,  _ “I got him”  _ over, and over again.

 

Daniel is right.

 

He’s got Jihoon in every single possible way he can have him.

  
  
  
  
  


The million times they have cuddled before will never be able to match up to tonight, where Jihoon knows that Daniel is wholeheartedly his. The stiff bodies against each other have become two very comfortable ones. The usual hand on Jihoon’s arm is now around his waist, pulling him even closer to close off the non-existent space in between them.

 

The lips that are usually eliciting snoring noises are pressing the softest kisses onto his forehead.

 

“What did my mother say?” Jihoon asks after pushing Daniel away for the fifth time.

 

He fears his heart will not be able to take it if Daniel keeps advancing towards him like this.

 

“She is my number one fan club president, of course she is happy for me and you.”

 

“And your own mother?”

 

Daniel finally looks into Jihoon’s eyes instead of his lips.

 

“Baby, she loves you. More than I do.”

 

Daniel punctuates his reply with a peck on Jihoon’s cheek.

 

“ _ Baby _ ?” Jihoon echoes. He frowns, not quite sure if he like it that Daniel is getting way too comfortable with the pet names.

 

“Yeah. Baby. My honey sugar with cherry on top. My sweetheart.”

 

Jihoon fake gags, making Daniel laugh and turn around on his side.

 

“I think I prefer when you call me ‘ _ Ya, Park Jihoon _ ’ much, much better,” Jihoon admits. “Don’t you dare think that I will let you win at all our video games now that we are dating.”

 

Daniel scoffs, “As if you could beat me. I’ve been letting you win all these years just because I liked you.”

 

Jihoon gasps at this sudden revelation, feelings of betrayal uprising in his throat as he prepares to attack Daniel with facts and solid proof that he is obviously the better player between the both of them, until he feels a pair of soft lips on his own.

 

Daniel is good, so good.

 

Jihoon can never get enough of him - and the way he treats him.

 

When Daniel cups Jihoon’s chin with his hands and deepens their kiss, Jihoon instinctively grabs at the covers; afraid that his mother will walk in anytime. All prevention measures are forgotten when Daniel cheekily slips his tongue into Jihoon’s mouth, exploring all the places he couldn’t before.

 

He’s breathing heavily against Daniel - one side of his brain telling himself to shut the fuck up before he wakes his mother up, but the other side telling him that he needs more, wants more.

 

There are many first times for Jihoon and Daniel.

 

The first time he sees Daniel in a different light, the first time his heart breaks when they fight because he’d been so afraid to lose Daniel, or the first time he cries in front of Daniel, showing his vulnerable side and trusting Daniel wholeheartedly with it.

 

And  _ this _ .

 

The first time he feels like he’s going to explode if Daniel stops touching him, stops kissing him, stops loving him.

 

“Jihoon ah.”

 

Daniel’s voice is raspy and (Jihoon would never admit it out loud)  _ hot _ .

 

“If we carry on I don’t think I can bring myself to stop.”

 

Jihoon almost chokes on his own saliva. 

 

“W-what are you talking about,” he sputters.

 

Daniel is still wearing his signature smug look that makes Jihoon want to wipe it off him with either a kiss or a punch (he still cannot decide). But he just turns over, disgruntled and back facing Daniel just to show Daniel that he’s not going to talk to him until he takes that smirk off his face.

 

Sooner or later, he feels an arm wrap around his waist and Daniel whisper into the crook of his neck, “Goodnight, Jihoon.”

 

Jihoon prays that if this is a dream, he doesn’t ever want to wake up.

  
  
  
  
  


There is nothing more magical in this world than waking up next to the love of your life.

 

Well, except if the love of your life is also your lifelong best friend who sleeps like a log and won’t budge even when you try and roll him over on his side multiple times and he still will not wake up.

 

Jihoon groans out loud.

 

Slowly but surely, he crawls out of practically being under Daniel otherwise he will not be able to breathe.

 

He traces Daniel’s features with his fingers lightly, wondering if everything that happened last night was all in his deluded head of his but when he recalls how Daniel had kissed and touched him like he was the only person that mattered in the entire world, Jihoon has no doubts that this is reality - and the reality is that he has a boyfriend who is definitely not a morning person.

 

That’s great, because neither is Jihoon.

 

He flops back into bed, enjoying the way Daniel naturally cuddles back up onto him.

 

“Hmgh… what time is it,” Daniel croaks against Jihoon’s back. 

 

“Don’t know,” Jihoon mumbles back, already feeling sleepy again. “I’m going back to sleep.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Jihoon likes this a lot. It feels nice, safe and familiar.

 

“...love you.”

 

He flips around, expecting to meet Daniel’s eyes but the other boy is already back asleep, mouth slightly opened and probably somewhere in dreamland already. Jihoon bets Daniel won’t even remember this when he wakes up. He chuckles at the other boy’s vulnerable state, runs his fingers through Daniel’s hair and then snuggles back under the covers.

 

They can talk about it when the sun rises.

  
  
  
  
  


_ +p.s i love you _

 

“You got together with Niel hyung and I had to hear from Woojin hyung? Our friendship is cancelled,” Daehwi declares to Jihoon on Monday.

 

Jaehwan snorts from behind Jihoon, all too familiar with the drama that went down during the weekend.

 

“Jihoon owes me big time,” Jaehwan smiles sweetly at Jihoon while saying that. “For even imagining that I would steal Niel from him. You have no idea how much I suffered from Daniel’s constant whining and unrequited pining.”

 

Jihoon gulps.

 

“I’ll treat you to meat,” he promises Jaehwan. Then he whines, “It’s not my fault anyway, since you were acting so close with Niel hyung.”

 

Any excuse to protect his wallet from Jaehwan’s stomach is a good excuse.

 

“So where is the boyfriend?”

 

Jihoon almost chokes. It’s true. Kang Daniel is his boyfriend.

 

But it still feels surreal for his friends to know that too. He’s not sure if he can ever get used to this. Especially with Daehwi’s constant nagging and Jaehwan’s constant chattering about putting up with the two of them.

 

“He went to see a teache-”

 

“Surprise!” a voice yelps and someone jumps onto Jihoon’s back, and thank God Jihoon at the very least has strong thighs that help him to maintain his balance but he still shoots the death glare to the overgrown puppy on his back, who looks pleased to see all of his friends together in one place.

 

Jihoon shakes him off, not hesitating to hold Kang Daniel in a headlock.

 

“Do not ever do that to me again!”

 

Jaehwan shoots a look at Daehwi, wondering if they should do anything about it but truth is, they are used to seeing Jihoon treat Daniel this way.

 

Daniel waves a piece of paper in Jihoon’s face, completely unaffected by the arms around his neck.

 

“I did it! I made it to Seoul Uni! They offered me a scholarship!”

 

Jihoon releases his grip immediately.

 

“ _ What _ ?”

 

“I applied a few months back with my soccer achievements and they accepted me! Of course I’ll have to do decent for the final exam but my space is pretty much secured and they want me to-”

 

Jihoon stops. His head is swimming.

 

“Why… why didn’t you tell me before?” his voice falters.

 

Daniel is going to university. The top university in the entire country.

 

Daniel’s head cocks to the side in confusion at Jihoon’s seemingly lacklustre reaction to the big news, “I didn’t want to have any expectations.”

 

His smile and invisible puppy ears drop when he gets the hint.

 

“Are you… not happy?”

 

“No,” Jihoon replies immediately. “No, no, no. Of course not. I’m over the moon for you.”

 

Daniel drops the piece of paper in his hand and immediately embraces Jihoon in his arms, not caring about the stares that they are getting from students around them. 

 

“I’m just going to miss you.”

 

Jihoon gulps when he says the words. Daniel is going to graduate in a few months and he’s going to move away, closer to school for sure. School is going to be different without Daniel. So is sleeping at night. He’s going to miss Daniel so much.

 

How come they only got together when Daniel had limited time to spend with Jihoon?

 

“I’m going to miss you the most but nothing’s going to happen, okay?” Daniel whispers words of comfort into Jihoon’s ear, soothing him by patting his back gently as he would to a baby. 

 

“Listen to me. I waited years for you, and I’m not going to give you up just because I’m going somewhere a little further from home. Okay?”

 

Daniel stares into Jihoon’s eyes, not looking away till he nods.

 

“Good boy,” Daniel ruffles Jihoon’s hair.

 

It sinks in then.

 

Kang Daniel - the pudgy hyung from next door with tears streaming down his face as he runs to Jihoon’s house. Jihoon didn’t know how to comfort him, so he gave Daniel hyung half of his chocolate bread.

 

And then, a friendship formed, a love that blossomed between the two innocent teenagers.

 

Kang Daniel is so strong, and he’s going places.

 

“ _ Ya _ , Kang Daniel,” Jihoon pulls on Daniel’s wrist, bringing his attention back.

 

He stands on his tippy-toes, kissing Daniel full on the lips before pulling back.

 

“I am so proud of you.”

 

The smile that sprouts on Daniel’s lips is enough to convince Jihoon that everything is going to be just fine.

 

Jihoon doesn’t get to see Daniel’s reaction, especially not after Daehwi pulls Jaehwan away from them, muttering something under his breath like, “Couples these days.”

 

“And p.s,” he whispers, “I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> that didn't feel like 20k?????
> 
> i'm glad and sad it's over though this is my 3rd? best friends to lovers fic because it's a trope i absolutely love even if it's not nielwink's canon compliant i still hope i did their relationship justice in this one :D
> 
> comments always motivate me to write more and are appreciated always <3
> 
> love, bapaldeul (chul)


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